How did you find out about BDSM?

[BDSM_Tourguide]

How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle?

What was its appeal to you?

What misconceptions did you have of BDSM before you began that have been changed now?

What do you hope to learn/teach/pass on to others about BDSM?

Do you consider yourself a "lifestyler" or just an occasional player?

What do you enjoy about being dominant/submissive?

What do you like about your dominant/submissive(s), if you have one (them)?

[BruceBoxer]

It was a dark and stormy night...sat down at my 386 computer with AOL version 1, accessed the internet and discovered...BDSM! There in my safe basement, I viewed pictures of lovely ladies tied, stretched and tortured to the players safe and sane and consensual delight. I found the whole notion of getting naked and letting go of every ingrained taboo totally erotic and liberating. Why go through our too short lives being repressed? If it's fun, feels good, enhances your outlook on life and doesn't hurt (non-consenually anyway)--do it!

And I found I wasn't a freak--there were many like that.

So since 1982 (I think) to today--I've met and enjoyed the company and delights of many--all thanks to the internet--just like you fine folk!

[blackshadowmast]

The Start

How I started, well that’s a very long, painful, (not in a good way), but exciting story. To make it short my wife introduced me to it.

It’s appeal well; really it was more of an educational mission. I wanted to know why my wife loved this lifestyle so much.

Well the misconceptions that I had, as I think like most people who aren’t educated on the lifestyle is that it is a very cruel and dangerous way of having sex. Now after one year of self-education I have found that to be totally untrue. It can be the most liberating form of expressing yourself and showing true love to your partner. There is a great deal of trust that must be given on both ends, as well as love.

What I hope to learn is a better understanding of the lifestyle, why am I so excited about it why am I drawn to it, why do I need it where before it really wasn’t a part of me, or at least I thought it wasn’t. Teaching, well I’m not ready for that yet but one day I hope to be able to educate those that were like me before. To pass this on well I can only do this if the one receiving is willing to receive it.

I consider my self for now an occasional player. Real life is too much in your face for me to be a “lifestyler”. If I had no monetary worries and all in the real world was taken care of well then maybe being a “lifestyler” I would consider.

What I enjoy about being a Dominant, is the gift that I receive from my sub, as well as the high that I get each and every time I play with her. The gift that I’m talking about is the gift of trust and love.

What I like about my sub is the fact that she is my wife, although we’ve only started playing for about two weeks now, and things haven’t been perfect to say the least, mostly due to my inexperience. Like I said earlier she is the experienced one in the relationship and the fact that she is now willing to try this with me knowing my inexperience shows to me how much she loves me and wants me learn more and maybe one day be her true DOM. Only time will tell.

[cumeelion]

Found out about it browsing on the internet when my evil demon was active.

Have always been masochistic with violent fantasies and self play since childhood. The appeal of the community is that the only scene I can envision enjoying is the one where the Dom is enjoying what he is doing, rather than giving me punishment or some other excuse for administering pain. It is liberating to find out that I am not sick. (keep repeating to myself i am not sick, i am not wierd....)

I'm drawn to the community to finally experience what i've been dreaming of so long.

I thought that it was an illness and that all people who practiced it did so nonconsensually. I thought all sadist were evil people.

Right now I am meeting people in the lifestyle so I can't say whether sceneing will live up to my expectations at this point nor what sort of role I will play (bottom or submissive, fulltime/parttime?). Somehow I don't see myself in a 24/7 submissive role because I just shed that.

[Monte Burns]

The way I got into BDSM was. I had this girl friend. We were having sex once. This was about 5 years ago. She was on top. I was pinching her nipples. She said, squeeze my tits harder, the whole tit. She kept screaming more, more. Then she screamed loud, I stopped, she got right upto my face and said real soft, kinda sinister like, do you like it when I'm in pain? I was shocked. but after I thought about it, the more it turned me on. We later got into me spanking her, pulling her hair ect. She seemed to get off on the pain. but it was nothing major. Just us having fun during sex.

[Pooka]

Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide

How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle?

LOL! What a great question! The Internet! I'd never heard of it before and thought I was mentally insane for having such deep, dark thoughts.

What was its appeal to you?

Someone out there was as mentally insane as me! I wasn't alone. *grin*

What misconceptions did you have of BDSM before you began that have been changed now?

I actually believed that people who were into BDSM were all somehow honest and caring.

What do you hope to learn/teach/pass on to others about BDSM?

Spankee beware! *grin*

I've personally found that BDSM activities can have a powerful effect on healing the hurts of our past if done with some attention and questioning of why we want what we want. Many activities are simply sexually thrilling and exciting, or pose interesting 'mind games' to explore. However, some activities or the intensity of a particualar activity can be a clue about something in our subconscious that might need to be addressed and it is often wonderful to face it and overcome it .. and still enjoy that activity.

Do you consider yourself a "lifestyler" or just an occasional player?

Not a fair question! LOL! It depends. My natural outlook on life is that Men are cool and should be king of their castle, that women are naturally bisexual (I know that isn't true, but this is my delusion we're speaking of here , and sex is vitally important in a relationship. I also think that sex has the most potential to engage all our senses, our intellect, our emotions, our playful side, our serious side and exploring that thin line between pleasure and pain is downright thrilling. That's my view on life and I live it.

However, having said all that, based on the amount of play time we can carve out of our busy lives, I'd say that we barely rate occasional player! But we're working to change that. *grin*

What do you enjoy about being dominant/submissive?

I'm submissive only to my husband and dominant with everyone else and I enjoy that because it's easiest for me, just the way I am and going against that just causes me a world of hurt.

What do you like about your dominant/submissive(s), if you have one (them)?

What, I have to write a book now?! Everything!

Pooka

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by Pooka

What misconceptions did you have of BDSM before you began that have been changed now?

I actually believed that people who were into BDSM were all somehow honest and caring.

Pooka

I think you would be a little surprised by how many people that really are in the BDSM lifestyle are supportive and caring. Mostly, the players, liars and cheaters are what I see online a lot more than in real life. The PEP group in Houston was full of very nice people. People that didn't care what they looked like, just that they were having fun and they were secure in their own environment.

I try to make BDSM as positive an experience as I can for as mant people I can. I fail sometimes, yes, but I am human. I don't just toy with people and their emotions, though. I also tend to be very harsh with those that do or try to.

[redEva]

Great answers Poka, reality hits us hard all, and time to play is hard to find. But as you said – BDSM is in our heads and i believe that for one who really is into BDSM it is life style, it is almost a philosophy of life – at least i see it that way.

Just one thing – I have to totally agree with BDSM_Tourguide about people and honesty. Forums like this one are nice to find and it is fun to have other people to communicate with on this subject, but it is much easier to act out your fantasies while being able to remain faceless behind the screen, so yes – lots of people try to lead other to believe they are something they are not.

In RL, with true players you will find that honesty is the key – hell, the whole premise of the play is based on trust. There are many groups in North America and almost every town has at least one – if you had not yet, i would strongly recommend you look it up and go to Munchies – you will be pleasantly surprised. Groups like that are great resource and support.

[Pooka]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by redEva

Hello redEva and BDSM_Tourguide,

Yes, I should have clarified what I said as I was referring to those online.

We are only now exploring meeting people off-line or in real life as they say. LOL! In the beginning, I had a lot of guilt to get over and so wasn't ready to meet groups of people into BDSM. Once I got over the guilt, life became so crazy that it just wasn't an option to get involved with others but now that we are finally settled down, moving forward happily with our lives, we are actively looking for groups in our area. My husband has found the local groups and munches and we plan to get to know some folks. I'm really looking forward to that as honestly, I do know that people for the most part are wonderful, caring and open.

Of course, now that we are ready for this step, my playing will be limited as I'm pregnant again! LOL! But I have a whole year or so to get comfortable with local people so that's probably a good thing. *grin*

Pooka

[jeyline]

Well, to tell you the truth, I first read BDSM in books, without even realizing what it was, and after I finished, I went online to search for other books like that, and alas, BDSM! Naturally, being a teenager, I was intrigued and immediately began to learn as much as I could.

I'm not really sure what the appeal is. Oh, yes I do, I think. (I'm still a very confused person) I loved the idea of having a dom who would take care of me. . . and I like pain.

My main misconception was that it would be a lot easier to find a dom then it is. Still looking (sigh). Also, I sort of thought that people into that sort of thing were psychopathic or something, but really, it's no more weird then anything else.

I hope to learn a lot more about BDSM, basically, everything! I want to know everything about everything! I also hope to help people outside of the scene realize that BDSM isn't wrong or sick, and there is nothing wrong with those of us who participate, or, in general, tolerance!

I'm not really sure what to consider myself...I've never really participated in BDSM because I'm still a minor living at home with no real sex life. I'm very interested and open to the idea though, and I'm hoping to find someone at college next fall.

I like being submissive because it's very clear cut, straight forward, you do what your dom tells you. There isn't any responsibility falling on you, or having to make tough descisions. You're basically taken care of.

Don't currently have a dom (or rather, one doesn't have me) but I want one!

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by jeyline
Well, to tell you the truth, I first read BDSM in books, without even realizing what it was, and after I finished, I went online to search for other books like that, and alas, BDSM! Naturally, being a teenager, I was intrigued and immediately began to learn as much as I could.

When I was a teen and first reading about BDSM, I didn't have an internet to look it up. I'm guessing by this, that you are younger than me.

I'm not really sure what the appeal is. Oh, yes I do, I think. (I'm still a very confused person) I loved the idea of having a dom who would take care of me. . . and I like pain.

So, does this imply that you are not capable of taking care of yourself? How did you survive before having a dominant?

My main misconception was that it would be a lot easier to find a dom then it is. Still looking (sigh). Also, I sort of thought that people into that sort of thing were psychopathic or something, but really, it's no more weird then anything else.

It's amazingly easy to find a dominant. Mostly, though, it requires a person to get off their ass, turn off the computer and attend a live event. Don't get me wrong, the internet can be a great place to meet a dominant. Hoever, I have been to many chats and many groups online and, I must say, I find most of them to have just become repulsive in the last three years or so. Mostly, you will find players and people just looking to fuck if you look online. Live events are more sercurely monitored, so the players and the clueless tend to be left wanting at the door.

I hope to learn a lot more about BDSM, basically, everything! I want to know everything about everything! I also hope to help people outside of the scene realize that BDSM isn't wrong or sick, and there is nothing wrong with those of us who participate, or, in general, tolerance!

Well, you've set a heck of a task for yourself. I'll give you one bit of wisdom: No one knows everything about BDSM. If they tell you they do, they're full of shit. Or they're full of themselves. Which is probably the same thing, really.

I'm not really sure what to consider myself...I've never really participated in BDSM because I'm still a minor living at home with no real sex life. I'm very interested and open to the idea though, and I'm hoping to find someone at college next fall.

Minor? Umm... How minor? Unfortunately, this is an adult site. However, there are people here (like me) that would be willing to talk to you privately about things to do to further your knowledge of BDSM, but in a more age-friendly setting. Email is always a good way to go. Legally, though, if you're a minor, you really shouldn't be perusing the adult sites.

However, I don't feel one should have to wait until their 18th birthday to learn about BDSM. I didn't. I started when I was about 15 and I'm probably a better person for it.

I like being submissive because it's very clear cut, straight forward, you do what your dom tells you. There isn't any responsibility falling on you, or having to make tough descisions. You're basically taken care of.

Ahhh.... no. You have a lot of responsibility, most of it to yourself. You, more than anyone, are responsible for your health, well-being and decisions. Dominants are not sugar daddies. Most adult people, whether they are dominant, submissive or neither, can take care of themselves just fine. If adults want someone to take care of, they don't look for submissives, they have children or pets.

Don't currently have a dom (or rather, one doesn't have me) but I want one!

Good luck with that. I recommend you slow down a bit, though. Make sure you know what you want and what you might get yourself into before you go running into the arms of someone proclaiming to be dominant. You might find yourself living a very short and violent life with an end that comes sooner than you would like. No kidding.

[jeyline]

Minor? Umm... How minor?

I'll be 18 in about 1 1/2 months, don't worry. I've been "persuing" adult sites since I was 15 though. My parents don't really care, not that they know how to use the computer to begin with.

So, does this imply that you are not capable of taking care of yourself? How did you survive before having a dominant?

I'm not exactly capable of taking care of myself, or at least, not fully. I'm a bit scatterbrained at times and often forget to eat or other stuff like that. Fortuantely my mom is a stay-at-home-mom and has taken care of me my entire life. To put it a little clearer, until I was 10 years old I still had to ask my mom if I could leave the room (at home) or if I could go to the bathroom. I still have to ask before I eat anything, leave the house, or talk on the phone. In other words, I'm taken care of.

It's amazingly easy to find a dominant. Mostly, though, it requires a person to get off their ass, turn off the computer and attend a live event. Don't get me wrong, the internet can be a great place to meet a dominant. Hoever, I have been to many chats and many groups online and, I must say, I find most of them to have just become repulsive in the last three years or so. Mostly, you will find players and people just looking to fuck if you look online. Live events are more sercurely monitored, so the players and the clueless tend to be left wanting at the door.

I've sort of realized this, considering the people that I've met online. I'm just not sure about how to go to a live event, or find one, or anything like that. It's not exactly something you can look up in the phone book. How do people go about finding and attending events?

Ahhh.... no. You have a lot of responsibility, most of it to yourself. You, more than anyone, are responsible for your health, well-being and decisions.

Well, at least it isn't to someone else. I don't really care all that much about what happens to me, so that isn't really a concern for me. I just sort of don't think about my health or my body a lot. It just is.

You might find yourself living a very short and violent life with an end that comes sooner than you would like.

Not really a concern of mine either. I'm one of those people who has an unhealthy disregard for their own lives. I don't really care if I live or die to be quite honest with you. Life doesn't seem very real to me to begin with, it seems very plastic and unreal.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by jeyline
I'll be 18 in about 1 1/2 months, don't worry. I've been "persuing" adult sites since I was 15 though. My parents don't really care, not that they know how to use the computer to begin with.

Sad.

As for the age issue, myself and Jinn, the owner, will be discussing whether or not to let you continue posting here. Like I said before, legally, you're a minor. That could cause problems for this site.


I'm not exactly capable of taking care of myself, or at least, not fully. I'm a bit scatterbrained at times and often forget to eat or other stuff like that. Fortuantely my mom is a stay-at-home-mom and has taken care of me my entire life. To put it a little clearer, until I was 10 years old I still had to ask my mom if I could leave the room (at home) or if I could go to the bathroom. I still have to ask before I eat anything, leave the house, or talk on the phone. In other words, I'm taken care of.

Pathetic.


I've sort of realized this, considering the people that I've met online. I'm just not sure about how to go to a live event, or find one, or anything like that. It's not exactly something you can look up in the phone book. How do people go about finding and attending events?

Well, first you have to wait about a month and a half. Then you got to an adult toy/clothing/fetish store and pick up your local alternative interests paper. Almost every sommunity has one. If your community doesn't have one, then there will probably be fliers up announcing local BDSM/fetish/alternative lifestyle events. Call the number on the flier or go to the address and buy a ticket.

It helps to not only attend play parties, but munches as well. In fact, the munches and get to know you sessions are probably more important to go to than they play parties most times.


Well, at least it isn't to someone else. I don't really care all that much about what happens to me, so that isn't really a concern for me. I just sort of don't think about my health or my body a lot. It just is.

That's pretty disturbing. Maybe instead of looking for a dominant, you should consider looking for a therapist.


Not really a concern of mine either. I'm one of those people who has an unhealthy disregard for their own lives. I don't really care if I live or die to be quite honest with you. Life doesn't seem very real to me to begin with, it seems very plastic and unreal.

Again, forget about browsing adult sites and finding a relationship which will, more than likely, turn out to be unhealthy, and find a good therapist.

Good, smart dominants don't want broken goods.

[jeyline]

I'm well aware of the fact that my life is pathetic and sad, and I do have a therapist, who thinks I'm doing just fine because there's no way that I could tell him about my "mental life" because... well I just can't. I'm too scared.

And as for not being allowed to post anymore, can I come back when I'm an adult?

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by jeyline
I'm well aware of the fact that my life is pathetic and sad, and I do have a therapist, who thinks I'm doing just fine because there's no way that I could tell him about my "mental life" because... well I just can't. I'm too scared.

And as for not being allowed to post anymore, can I come back when I'm an adult?

Then you have missed the point of seeing a therapist. You're there to talk about your mental health. So, take my advice and either use your therapist for what he's there for or stop wasting your parents' money. Take a little responsibility for yourself.

I'll talk to Jinn and see what he says about having you here. He might be willing to make an exception, because you are close to the legal age.

[jeyline]

Thanks for talking with him for me. I appreciate it.

To tell you the truth, I've been crying in my room for the past hour thinking about what you've said, and you're right.

I know I'm pathetic ect. and I know that Doms don't want broken goods, but I don't know what to do about it. I'm just a sorry excuse for a person.

I'm scared that if I talk with my therapist about this sort of thing he'll reject me or something like that. I don't want to be rejected any more. I've started a letter to him, and I'm going to try and send it, but I don't know if I'm brave enough.

Please don't be angry with me, and I'm sorry for posting.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

... not to get too personal on a public forum. Although, people can assist you, if the need be, you might not want everyone in the world who cares to look, to know about every detail of your mental health and such.

However, I will give you a bit of advice. You can decide whether to accept it or not.

First, stop feeling sorry for yourself. You're a fine person and thinking that you have a pathetic life and such will only make it come true. I meant that your situation was pathetic, not you. I remember having to rely on parents and having to ask to do things. I hated it, too, but if you're getting free rent, then you have to live with it.

No one is angry with you for anything. Part of my interest in BDSM is to help people find their way through the lifestyle. I would rather see you make sane, healthy decisions and possibly be happy in the future than I would see you make an uninformed, decision based on your low self-esteem and poor self-image and regret it for the rest of your life. And believe me, the rest of your life can be very painful, in a bad way, and a lot longer than you would want it to be, given the theoretical situation that could evolve.

If you need a second opinion, ask any Canadian about Paul Bernardo and Carla Homolka. Those two are perfect examples of how a BDSM relationship, if you can call it that, can go terribly wrong.

[Finding_Fantasy]

Hey, I used to think the same as you, that I was a pathetic loser and I did and said some really stupid things. I know what you;re going through and have been through some pretty harsh times myself.

If you want, you can always message me privately and we can chat or what not. I know this is the first time I have left a message here in quite sometime, but hey, Tourguide will make sure I don't get outta hand *chuckles* Feel free to do so or email me or whatever. Don't ever feel like you can't talk to someone about your problems. There is always someone, somehwere that has been through the same things you have and is more than willing to help out someone else.

[jeyline]

Thanks guys, sorry I'm such a hassle, I'll keep things toned down from now on.

Thank You.

[Curtis]

And don't be so concerned about what your therapist thinks of you. S/he is being paid to help you, not to judge you. The worst that could happen is that they pass your case off to someone who's better equiped/trained to deal with your particular needs.

[kittenfemme]

How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle?

One of my first boyfriends "roped" me into it.


What was its appeal to you?

I find submission (and occasional topping) to be quite addictive.


What misconceptions did you have of BDSM before you began that have been changed now?

I didn't know a lot before I started playing. I was... 14? 15?


What do you hope to learn/teach/pass on to others about BDSM?

The exhilaration and pride that comes with serving a Dominant or properly challenging a submissive.


Do you consider yourself a "lifestyler" or just an occasional player?

I'm in it for the long haul. BDSM, D/s in particular, has become a staple for me.


What do you enjoy about being dominant/submissive?

Domme: Setting the bar too high then seeing the pouty look in a submissive's face when they have tried SO VERY HARD to reach a goal but fell short. Then, of course, the whimpers and screams to follow.

sub: Being objectified... having someone turn me into a toy for their amusement, gratification, or servitude. I feel immense pride at seeing a smile on my Dom(me)'s face.


What do you like about your dominant/submissive(s), if you have one (them)?

My Mistress is even more strict than I am when I top. Things must be done exactly as she commands or else! The rewards she offers are delicious. The punishments she hands out are severe.

Each of my submissives are into D/s primarily, as am I. They each thrive on formality and nuance. I love to reward and punish each and every one of them for different reasons... the squeal one makes when I cane the bottoms of her feet, the moans another exudes when sliding a huge, harnessed dildo into her ass... *purrrrr*

[Fox]

How did I become interested in BDSM?

Herr Doktor, you ask a good question. As I ponder, various images come to mind ... playing cowboys and indians and capturing someone ... being excited by detective magazine and "man's magazine" covers and not knowing why ... for me the bigger question is, when was I NOT?


What was its appeal to you?

In a word: power. Control. No, that's two words.
What IS its appeal to me? Two words: Power, control and pleasure. That's three words ...
Oh, you want a serious answer?


What misconceptions did you have of BDSM before you began that have been changed now?

Only that fantasy and reality are not the same thing. But it is a lot of fun anyway ...


What do you hope to learn/teach/pass on to others about BDSM?

The exhilaration and pride that comes with serving a Dominant or properly challenging a submissive. (Thanks kittenfemme).
Add to that respect for your partner. And how to give and receive pleasure.


Do you consider yourself a "lifestyler" or just an occasional player?
Unless one works in a brothel, we are all just occasional players. But in our minds ...


What do you enjoy about being dominant/submissive?

Giving and receiving pleasure, in all its forms. Walking the line between fantasy/reality, pain/pleasure, expectations/reality, heaven/hell


What do you like about your dominant/submissive(s), if you have one (them)?

Intelligence, creativity, desire, willingness, sense of humour, playfulness, resistance, submission, and most of all, passion. And flexibility helps too.

[Mobius]

Here is one for the wayback machine.

I was 8 years old in the later part of the 60's sitting in the living room watching tv show called the Avenger's in one scene there was Emma peele sitting in a dungen whaerring an iron corset.

I did not know what a "woody" was at that time but it sure gave me one. Freaked me out. I thought I was growing aother thumb.

Then a few year's later I would ride my bike to the local Remada inn. With some of my friends. I used to plunk down 4 dollers in quarters into a vending machine in the lobby and bought playboy's and penthouse's. We would ride back into our naighbor hood and where they were building some house's we used to sit in the constrution and look at the naked ladys.

Then I took the penthouse home and read the forum letters.
That was where i learned about BDSM and D/s Lesbian's and all the like. All the good stuff a growing boy need's that is not covered in sex ed.

Then came Variations and I learned allot more
10 year's later came the internet and now I am a full blown perv.

You asked I answered next

[Firefly676]

Hi, I'm new here in the forums... thought i'd come and answer these...

How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle?
I'm not totally sure, it was really a gradual thing... I had been aware of having masochistic and submissive desires for a long time and was aware of BDSM existing.. but only from TV programmes etc, and because of that thought it was all about femdom. The first time I was tied to a bed I must have been about 13, but it didn't really occurr to me it was anything to do with BDSM! When I finally got an internet connection I realised femsubs existed and started trying to chat to and meet Doms... most of them were idiots (some of them appeared to be possible downright dangerous) but in the end I met the Dom (who is also my boyfriend) who I'm with now and am very happy with!

What was its appeal to you?
The appeal came before I knew anything about the lifestyle, but the more I learned about it, the more I liked it.

What misconceptions did you have of BDSM before you began that have been changed now?
I thought it was all about female Dommes and male subs, and I suppose a lot of other people I've met who don't know that much about it also have thought the same thing. I think I was too careless at first too... before doing a scene I never understood exactly why safewords were really needed etc, though I was very lucky to learn that the good way.

What do you hope to learn/teach/pass on to others about BDSM?
I hope to learn anything and everything I haven't learn yet about it! and I hope to pass on to others the truth about what the lifestyle is really about and get rid of all the misconceptions people often have about it, about how loving a Dom/sub relationship can really be and about what BDSM play is really like, that we're not really all nutters and most people in the scene are really quite friendly, caring people.

Do you consider yourself a "lifestyler" or just an occasional player?
I don't live with my boyfriend at the moment, I'm a student and unfortunately short of money with that, so I live on the top floor of a shared house... I'm sure they wonder what's going on up there! but we're a couple very much in love with each other and BDSM plays a big part in our lives when we're together, so I'd say I'm maybe a part time lifestyler, but we're developing in that sort of direction. Hopefully soon...

What do you enjoy about being dominant/submissive?
When I first got into BDSM, it was all about the sensation and feeling I'd get from scenes, and just really the way it turned me on. I enjoyed submitting but was a bit of a reluctant sub really. after I met my boyfriend, I fell in love with him and started enjoying submitting to him in a much broader sense and found I was able to very happily at the same time as enjoying everything else twice as much I'm not very submissive to most other people though!

What do you like about your dominant/submissive(s), if you have one (them)?
As a Dom, he can be sadistic, dominating, humilliate me totally, and still be very loving at the same time, put me through as much pain as I love to get but would never harm me. As for the whole time.. he understands me and we seem to be looking for the same sort of things in life, we respect each other, I can trust him totally... he's got a good sense of humour, is very loving...
...not forgetting a lot of other things
-I'll stop for the moment if I told you everything there is to say here, you'd have pages and pages to read lol!

[siroco222003]

HI Firefly. Nice write up, do all you want of that! And welcome aboard....

Siroco

[MrJerseyGuy]

I liked that account too...because it reminds me of my own from the dom perspective. It definately brings in a whole new level of trust/love. I'm already planning ahead to next weekend! Can't wait to take it up a notch

[Firefly676]

Hi
Thanks for your replies yep, I definately think BDSM introduces that extra bit of love and trust (I guess it has to take a lot of trust for someone to put themself in such a vunerable position!)

[ozgreg]

Funny enough my introduction was via Mr Wade stories that a friend found on the alt.erotica news group while it was still around.. Yes I know it was more than a few years ago back in the days of unix text groups :-)

I loved the stories and got hooked on the ideas so I lined up a slave night featuring my girlfriend at that time as the slave.

The night was a success with my mate bringing around his girlfriend thus we ended up having two half naked slave girls serving us dinner.

The rest is history from that event but I owe the starting ideas to Mr Wade and his series of stories (I believe something like over 150 in total)

[vamphile]

wanna hear the true and most hacknead answer EVER?

i stumbled across my mothers copy of The Story of O when i was 12, my older brother and his friends rented caligula when i was well, also about that age, so at an important and formative age, my formation was based on loverly classic stories.

from there, i just basically read stuff (magazines and short stories) i made up stories, thought i was a freak, blah blah blah, and then i actually met someone else who was into it, and then...blah blah blah blah blah.
just like everyone else right?

[Curtis]

And a nice Avatar, Vamphile. Sorry I'm going to miss you (and welcome to the Forum.
That Vamphile...quite a card...hehehe!