Found out about it browsing on the internet when my evil demon was active.

Have always been masochistic with violent fantasies and self play since childhood. The appeal of the community is that the only scene I can envision enjoying is the one where the Dom is enjoying what he is doing, rather than giving me punishment or some other excuse for administering pain. It is liberating to find out that I am not sick. (keep repeating to myself i am not sick, i am not wierd....)

I'm drawn to the community to finally experience what i've been dreaming of so long.

I thought that it was an illness and that all people who practiced it did so nonconsensually. I thought all sadist were evil people.

Right now I am meeting people in the lifestyle so I can't say whether sceneing will live up to my expectations at this point nor what sort of role I will play (bottom or submissive, fulltime/parttime?). Somehow I don't see myself in a 24/7 submissive role because I just shed that.