Hi,

this is my first post to this forums & let me start by saying that I'm happy to have found a place like this. After years on the net, this is the first place with erotic content that does not try to empty my purse as soon as I click anything. Thanks for that!

Anyway, after browsing these forums for a while, I thought this might be the right place to ask what I have been wondering for a while now.

I am very much into bondage, up to now mostly in my fantasies (meaning that I enjoy bondage fantasies & stories & tried to tie myself up with varying results), and I really would like to act out more of those fantasies some time (soon). I have been in several relationships & I also have had "singular encounters" with guys who were interested in that kind of fantasy. Yet, the concept of bondage seems to be completely tied (oops, no pun intended) to the concept of pain. And I have no interest in that.

To say it clearly, I want to be restricted; tied up & teased. I want someone to take control over me, telling me what to do & when to orgasm and so on. But I don't want to be spanked, or hurt in any other way. Pain just does not turn me on. (I've tried it, or, better, have been tried in that respect.)

The question is, how do I make that clear when meeting new (or talking to known) possible "Masters"? It seems that whenever I say the word "bondage", everybody assumes that there is a whip involved. Are there better words for what I want? What are the codes?

Thanks,
Marlen