I spent 7 1/2 years married to a very vanilla woman who I honestly don't think enjoyed any kind of sex. I don't think I was anywhere experienced enought to help her work through her repression and as a result even the vanilla was boring. During that time I started to get inklings that there was something else out there... I bought handcuffs and got her to use them once or twice, but she wasn't into that either and I wasn't even sure why I wanted them!

My next serious gf was great in bed and very experimental, so together we explored and I became enlightened. I wouldn't say I was submissive at the time though but the scening-and sex-was great.

The next woman to enter my life found clothespins in my bedroom before we were even dating! It didn't take her long to figure me out and well, you can imagine the rest. Needless to say we live together now and plan to marry.

So for me, my first "submissive" experiences don't actually coincide with my first BDSM experiences, if that makes any sense.