submissive sugar, every word you put into your message makes perfect sense to me! Every word! It's not rambling...it's thoughtful and wonderfully presented. Knowing that we aren't alone in this makes it so much easier, doesn't it?

And I was angry...very angry. But someone told me once that being angry at the one who doesn't have a clue isn't very fair. My anger was a mask for the frustration I felt at not being able to have D/s a part of my life. And that was my fault, not my husband's. I completely understand the part where you said, "for some reason, I had gotten it into my head that my husband couldn't be my Dominant...I didn't trust him, even though I had no basis for that mistrust". EXACTLY! There was no basis for my feeling that way. It's a difficult day when you wake up and realize you've been at fault the entire time. I had never given my husband a chance to be what I wanted him to be. At least now, we are on our way...as bumpy and rocky as the road may be.

I don't know the precise nature of your emotional baggage. We all have some to one extent or another. How we let it affect our lives, I am coming to realize, is entirely up to us. It can trap and smother us if we let it. Or we can try pushing through the issues and allow it to change us for the better. I am still working on all of it though.

Want to talk it through with a understanding soul? Pm anytime.