Dear ~d~,

Your Master is right on more than one account. I believe people need to talk. It helps a lot, to hear others opinions, if for no other reason, than at least to be able to clearly formulate your own.
I did not get the feel if you are in RL relationship with your Master or still on line only. It seems like you both developed deep feelings for each other, and I believe that true love can overcome all obstacles. I cannot say I have ever been truly in your situation, but I have a feeling I know where you coming from. Being trained and expected to suppress the submissive side, being strong and domineering most of your life, no matter how much you yearn and love/enjoy being dominated, your other side must kick in from time to time. We were all told, conditioned that feeling this, totally submitting to another is wrong. It is hard to give it up, to surrender the control, no matter how good it feels once you do it.
So my advice to you is: talk about it with your Master, no matter how many times over, and when you do feel rebellion, if he knows to expect it he might be able to help you get through it, guide you and maybe you will be able to push your limits and drop that last defense in order to completely enjoy that what you are looking for: surrender to Master and total unquestionable love that will fulfill you.
I hope you find what you looking for, in the mean time – enjoy the journey.