"So, when I seek a BDSM partner, do I select a "brat" with no self control,"

This brings up another intersting point: who says brats have no self control? I really don't get that. At all. I've yet to meet a bratty sub that wasn't doing it as either a direct or indirect way of saying "I need disciipline and structure... preferably from Your hand", so to speak.

"no I let her go freestyle with someone else."

Just because it isn't Gor doesn't make it "freestyle".