Great answers Poka, reality hits us hard all, and time to play is hard to find. But as you said – BDSM is in our heads and i believe that for one who really is into BDSM it is life style, it is almost a philosophy of life – at least i see it that way.

Just one thing – I have to totally agree with BDSM_Tourguide about people and honesty. Forums like this one are nice to find and it is fun to have other people to communicate with on this subject, but it is much easier to act out your fantasies while being able to remain faceless behind the screen, so yes – lots of people try to lead other to believe they are something they are not.

In RL, with true players you will find that honesty is the key – hell, the whole premise of the play is based on trust. There are many groups in North America and almost every town has at least one – if you had not yet, i would strongly recommend you look it up and go to Munchies – you will be pleasantly surprised. Groups like that are great resource and support.