HAHAHA Gorean Lite.. Now with less calories and sugar free!!!!

I have to wonder why it’s so necessary to label anything that way though. I am sure that for people who are just starting to explore their sexuality, values and choices for how they want to shape their lives that would be even more confusing. Is one less or more valid? We all have different shades of kink, what gives us community here is that we are stepping outside the box and claiming something more for ourselves.

I can imagine the intimidation a budding Dom or Domme must feel having to measure up to the "Cool" BDSM'ers smoking in the back of the classroom..hehe high school flashback there...or the timid submissive as so many of them are at first, until they learn that submissive does not a door mat make, who runs into the submissive who ensures that they make sure that everyone knows that they are the better submissive because......and you are not a real submissive because <insert reasoning here>

I do not mean to sound like people who choose to name their roles in this way are wrong because that would be hypocrite of me. I just mean that somehow at times it seems to invalidate others choices if they are not the same as yours.

For me my sexual choices as well as my intimate interactions are not a game, I can't play that way. For those that are casual more power to them, it’s just not me. Everyone has to start one step at a time to see how far they want to go. I got lucky twice in the last two years in meeting people that I could not only talk very openly about the things running through my head but also gaining empowerment from it. I am very capable of living this kind of lifestyle as a day to day thing because if you have a deep connection there is no other way. I know that if I wanted to be deeply submissive to someone that I can make a wise and worthy choice and not run around looking for someone to collar me so I can brag about how great of a submissive I can be. I also know that if I was given the gift of someone’s submission in return that I also can be worthy of it and accept it from someone that knows the value of what they offer.

At the same time I would never be able to label within those confines where I would fall. There are some things about the Gorean philosophy I do think worthy. I do think that a Dom should make their sub feel as the most cherished prize and possession, and that a submissive should be able to honor that by giving over the trust to them. I do think there should be a time to play, dabble, learn limits, and learn to judge yourself and the people you choose to involve yourself with. Learn to KNOW yourself and be able to decide what you are not going to live without in your life. I know I did and it was not just about being kinky. What’s the use of sleeping beside someone that while they can get you off maybe, you always close a part of yourself away and always want it and maybe come onto sites like this to get a taste but you will never have it completely. It is also about complete intimacy.

I believe there is no such thing as a true vanilla just as there is no such thing as a totally 100% straight person. EVERYONE has a bit of grey. Some only a touch, others are all the way to the other side. After all dominance and submission is not JUST the sexual play, it is interaction and power play give and take. Every single relationship has that.

This may have taken a tangent from the question posed but I really feel that somehow the divergence in how people view their kink, their lifestyle is sometimes a very bad thing. I know that people here are very open and we can talk about these things without problems but pity the poor newbie who wanders into a closed minded it’s my way or the highway community. That is a really sad thing. I think the members here feel safe to say I dunno, show me, or hey what’s that without fear. I like that there are no Grand Doms who feel they are somehow better than others and I also like that there are no submissives pridefully lording their submission above members who are learning what they are really like.

I hope that this made sense and didn't come across as in any way rude because that is not my intent. I just felt I needed to say this here so I did. I have meant no offense but somehow this seemed to touch a cord for me. And lastly I like that we can all talk about this type of thing without fear of censure.