I'll add my wows as well. His nice rich descriptions in his reverie and the contrast with her mundane conversation give both characters very distinct voices. It’s important that you don’t overlap them and you have no trouble there. The sparks of humor as the two stories lines intersect are purely you .
Just a few thoughts; you are mixing two points of view, separated only by paragraphs. You need to tip toe when you do that for readers can become confused. You pull it off, it works as well as It can be done I suspect, and for a first piece that’s an amazing trick.
The question I’d have you ask is why?
Was there any easier way (for the reader, as well as yourself) to give the distinctively different POVs between him and her, and use them to tell of the differences between her with him, and her in a more vanilla world where she still needs to exist sometimes.
A lot to cover in such a short assignment, ya done good.
Mad