Rhabbi's first assignment

[Rhabbi]

My best meal ever, I may be a bit complicated, but I am a man with simple tastes. I have eaten many different cuisines through the years, and have develop[ed a taste for some of the finer foods, but I would rather sit down to a cheeseburger than a good steak.
But this is about a perfect, dream meal, and I am going to show that the simple things in life are better than most people give them credit for.
We are in Fort Worth, home to a restaurant that consistently gets voted as having the best cheeseburgers in Texas by the readers of Texas Monthly. My humble opinion is that those people do not know what they are talking about.
I make advance arrangements with the owner of my favorite place to eat. There is nothing whatever that would cause anyone to look this place twice, in fact I almost walked past it the first time. If I had not been so hungry I would have. There area few tables in front of the door booths along one wall. I like it because the floor is spotless and the tables are clean.
When you walk in the smell is not what you would expect from a hamburger joint. There is a slight smell of grease, but it is richer, fuller grease than you would expect here, almost like walking into the kitchen of a steak house. The counter is in the back, and the menu board hangs along the back wall, next to the hall for the bathroom.
As we walk in the Barry White CD is playing just as I asked. I tell Mishka to sit and go back to pick up what I had ordered, they were just finishing it up because I was a bit early.
Lighting, I almost forgot about that. As they were open after their regular hours I was able to get them to turn off about half the lights. Understand, this did not make the place dark, just a bit dimmer than normal. I took the tray back to the booth and placed it in front of Mishka. Now, the menu, cheeseburgers, home cut fries, salad, and Dr. Pepper.
These are not ordinary cheeseburgers here, by the way. You start with some onions, sauté them, stir in some green peppers, add spices that they will not tell me about, and then take the result off the grill. You then mix this into a quarter pound of USDA choice ground sirloin. You then put this back on the grill. As the patty cooks you gather up some mushrooms and throw them on the grill to cook in the grease from the burger. After the patty is almost done you get a thick slice of cheddar cheese and place it atop the patty, along with the mushrooms. You then take the bun and place on the grill to toast.
You then get fresh lettuce, ripe tomatoes, and onions together. You take the bottom bun and put on a plate and load the lettuce on to it, and then take the top of the bun and use it on to hold the mushrooms and melted cheese on the patty as you scoop it up and load it onto the bun.
The fries are home cut, and deep fried in butter flavored Crisco. I like them because they finish cooking them. They are golden brown crisp, and hot.
Back to Mishka, I watch as she takes her first bite of the cheeseburger, the rich flavor of the premium meat and the juices flood her mouth. The sharpness of the cheddar cheese contrasts with the mushrooms. The crisp lettuce, onion, and the juice ripe tomato combine in a taste she has never before experienced. I can see the delight and surprise as she realizes that this is the best cheeseburger that she has ever tasted, and I smile as I reach for mine.
Being more experienced I savor that first bite, every burger at this place is unique in its flavor because there is no set quantity for the mix that they put in the meat. I savor the tang of the cheddar, and the wonderful sensation of the fresh vegetables, especially the ripe tomatoes. I am in ecstasy as the juice of the meat floods my mouth, and I concentrate on the subtle undertones that I am expecting, the grilled onion and pepper, and the spices. Cumin, Oregano, and what? I can not pin it down, but I savor each bite as the taste sensation that it is.
We eat the heaping pile of fries as we go, the butter flavor adding a rich flavor that cries out to not be covered with catsup. Mishka expresses her delight with the meal and, of course, the company. And I know that I have converted another to this tiny place where they make the best cheeseburgers in Texas. Then she tastes the topper of the meal, the Dr. Pepper. She makes a face and I just remind her that this is the national drink of Texas, and every true Texan learns to love if.

[Haelix]

Oh man.. every time I go thru there.. Joe T's is my place man! Burger Box what? Taco Bueno/Cabana mmmm.. I miss that too... god this has no relevance to your post... sorry but you just made me miss texas a bit... *tear, raises a frosty coors light to the lonestarstate*

[Dragon's muse]

Bravo!

Wonderful use of second person. i like that, makes your passage a bit unusual. i could taste the food and see the place. The only detail i might add would be the sizzling of the meat on the grill.

Precious few nits to pick here. But i do have to do (i have a reputation to keep, you know).

**You start with some onions, sauté them, stir in some green peppers, add spices that they will not tell me about, and then take the result off the grill. You then mix this into a quarter pound of USDA choice ground sirloin. You then put this back on the grill. As the patty cooks you gather up some mushrooms and throw them on the grill to cook in the grease from the burger. After the patty is almost done you get a thick slice of cheddar cheese and place it atop the patty, along with the mushrooms. You then take the bun and place on the grill to toast.
You then get fresh lettuce, ripe tomatoes, and onions together. You take the bottom bun and put on a plate and load the lettuce on to it, and then take the top of the bun and use it on to hold the mushrooms and melted cheese on the patty as you scoop it up and load it onto the bun.**

You should vary your sentence structure a bit in this passage and eliminate most of the "then"s. In this context, it is usually unnecessary.

**Back to Mishka, I watch as she takes her first bite of the cheeseburger, the rich flavor of the premium meat and the juices flood her mouth. **

After "cheeseburger" you need a semicolon there instead of a comma.

**Being more experienced I savor that first bite, every burger at this place is unique in its flavor because there is no set quantity for the mix that they put in the meat. **

You need a comma after "experienced".

**...the butter flavor adding a rich flavor...**

You need to find a synonym for one of the "flavor".

**...every true Texan learns to love if.**

I am pretty sure that you meant "it", but my OCD forces me to mention it.

Now for extra credit, i need the name and address of this little haven of beefy nirvana. Sounds like it might be worth the drive from Dallas.

Excellent job, i will get your next assignment up today or tomorrow.

rose

[Rhabbi]

Hmmm

Actually, it is worth the trip, but I can only tell you it is close to Hulen Mall.