[QUOTE]Originally posted by Curtis
[B]

Curtis: I have now sent e-mails or PMs to 13 pseudonymously male authors and received replies from 5. On the other hand, I have contacted 19 ostensibly female authors and received replies from 16, six of whom have entered into prolonged exchanges (vs one of the males).

I entirely agree with your impressions, Curtis.

Women, in general, are much better communicators than men.

Gross over-simplification alert: :-)

Men, in general, like to talk about their specific interests -- sports, cars, beer, hunting and fishing, dancing girls -- you know -- the important things in life.

Women, in general, IMO, enjoy the intimacy of conversation, of sharing thoughts and feelings, even if there is no specific topic of conversation, lighting on topics -- (work, shopping, family, girl friends, shopping, their love lives, shoes, weather, shopping, diets, shoes, weekend plans, shopping etc ) -- like a butterfly, lingering for a moment and then flitting off to something else.

Another reason (IMO) that most men are less responsive on our particular subject -- the dark side of sexuality -- is that many men harbor feelings of guilt and/or shame for having such thoughts and fancies at all. Even (especially?) those who have written stories about them. Some, I'm sure, are fearful that their fantasies might come to public light. That Big Brother (or little wife?) might one day sweep down and go through all the e-mails and reviews and forums, track everyone down and publish names and photos in everyone's local newspaper. Fortunately, I think, our numbers (those of us latter-day sexual revolutionaries) are now so large, and so entrenched in every walk of life, that such a possibility seems more and more remote all the time.

One of the nice things about a forum such as this is that one finds out that one's cohabitants in our shadowy corner of erotica are both numerous and, for the most part, pleasant, talented, and intelligent people -- not drooling troglodyes.

I haven't received e-mails or reviews from too many people; but a surprisingly high percentage of the ones I have received have led, over time, to an interesting and friendly and unthreatening exchange of thoughts, at first just about the story in question, the Library and BDSM in general, but often leading into other shared interests.

Gentlemen -- if someone drops you a line, take a minute to write back. Your 'fan' will be pleased that you did, and you may well strike up a more-or-less-enduring e-friendship.


Boccaccio