Quote Originally Posted by dav4jon
As a lot of basic BDSM activities seem to be impossible in an online relationship -- namely all those, including sex, that involve some kind of physical contact or presence -- I would be interested to know what exactly an online relationship involves.

I have a very vague concept of subs being made to do things and provide proof of actual completion, but how do you take a picture of yourself being slutty in a shopping mall? How can you prove that you have not had a forbidden orgasm? Even webcams can't make anything 100% sure.

Another question is: are online relationships substitutes for (or first steps towards) RL relationships? Or do they constitute a special 'category' of BDSM relationships in its own right?

Thanks for any reply.

Cheers
Oh how near and dear this topic is to me! My Master and I have been in a mostly online relationship for over a year now, and from the very beginning the most important aspect was trust and reality. He has told me over and over again how he believes I do every task put to me. Without a single doubt! As I have no doubt about his sincerity. When I have failed at a task or fogotten to do it, I have told him, and accepted my punishment.

Secondly, we have done everything possible to make our relationship as realistic as possible. We don't just cyber back and forth our fantasies.. we find ways in which to perform them, and all aspects of us.

We also spend numerous hours talking about our relationship, what works and what doesn't. Where we want to take it, and what the future may hold for us. We get into each others head, trying to really understand the others needs and desires... Also our relationship grows outside of the D/s and BDSM... We have found that we enjoy writing together, and have begun the process of getting his/our works published (even have a few chapters here in the library). He writes, I edit, reseach publishers and submit them. On top of that, as if that doesn't keep us busy enough, we have ventured into selling homemade floggers, and creating other toys or gift ideas... Depending on what type of relationship you are looking for, there is nothing that can't be worked out!

When we first started out all we had was MSN and chat rooms... then came the phone, and finally a webcam... But always it was our imaginations and what was actually possible to be acted out... A list of things we have managed to do.... breast bondage, clothes pins, whipping myself with homemade floggers (a gift I made for him), spankings with flexible rulers, wood spoon smacking, wax play, etc. I have daily or nightly tasks I must do, and he again trusts that they are completed as directed.

Now, this is not to say that there aren't many people out there that play at BDSM and D/s relationships... there are more than I can count. But, I can't imagine my life anyother way now! The experience and personal growth both of us have undergone are marvels. We grow closer every day, and find new and exciting things to try all the time.

Life is whatever we wish to make of it. Be honest in your needs and desires and go from there.

Someone one said something like this..."We are only limited by our imaginations"