Over a month since my last post here?? How did that happen? Oh, yes. Life happened.

First off, I have to thank the special people who have offered advice and counsel. Your words have helped, encouraged, calmed, chastised, directed and supported me more than I could ever adequately express. My sincere thanks!

It has been a slow go. No denying that. But it has been progressing, despite me (and that's saying so much). This D/s living is complicated. I say that because it's laced with life- work, sickness, a child, and just the everyday of getting it all done. It does nothing but harm to be impatient. What a hard lesson to learn. But I think I'm on my way to developing some patience in all this. If I want this in my life, I'd better learn. So I am.

It's been pointed out to me that I over-analyze issues. And you know what? It's so true! I can take a clear positive and turn it into a negative in half a second flat just because I choose to. How useless is that? Very, to answer my own question. My husband is trying in this. He is leading us to where we both want to be. I can see that. So why do I fuss and pout and stomp my feet when something that is clearly a move-ahead happens? Because I didn't deem the move as being bold enough? Because I didn't control how it played out? Because it wasn't how I would have done it. Can we see a commonality here? I do. Well, now I do. I didn't. I was my own worst enemy. I still would be if those very generous in spirit individuals hadn't been helping me as they have. I have taken thier advice to heart and it is working.

The tale I am about to relate says a great deal to me about how far my husband and I have journeyed in a short time, due largely in part to the support I've gotten from here. We went to my favorite place in North Carolina- a shop that sells the most beautiful pottery ever, which I happen to collect. Well, I was planning on getting two pieces to add to my collection, but as it always happens, I saw a third piece I just had to have. So I proceeded to pick it up and turned to make my way to the register. My husband blocked my path and when I moved to go around him, he asked me if I had forgotten something. I said "um, don't think so" as I really couldn't think of anything. He reminded me that we had agreed that I would only get two pieces. I said "yeah, but I like three." He just stood there looking at me. It finally dawned on me that he was expecting me to ask permission to get it (insert blonde joke here). I was incredulous, to put it mildly. I think I even asked him if he was serious. He was. So with a huge grin on my face, I asked him if I could also get this other piece. And with the shopkeeper looking on and not five feet away, my husband, the man I believed didn't have it in him, said "beg for it". I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, I was that happy.

Then reality hit. I was in a very small place with other people! How and what and oh my gosh!!! But he was delightedly serious. My mind was spinning because I know the shopkeeper could hear us. It was for real! My husband had expectations that he wanted met. He would have said no if I had laughed it off or chose not to do as he requested (I'm looking at that lovely piece of hand-crafted artwork as I type this, so I guess I did an okay job of it). So I did what I'd been dreaming about. Because my Dominant wanted it, I begged for something. It didn't make a difference what I was begging for. It just mattered that he demanded it and I was obeying. For me, this was momentous, a big step for us together as a D/s couple. I'm still smiling about it.

It is taking time...and more time and more time. But you know, that's okay. Because more time just means moving further ahead. And last night, my husband asked if I would consider referring to him as "Master".

How's that for moving right along?