Hi tessa,
I read through it and liked the style. relaxed conversational and fairly tight. most everything either contributed to our understanding of (pick one) you, Red, (a green eyed redhead ya say) or else moved the action along. And ya did it all without that gift from the godlings (the spell checker) all I can say is I'm not sure I'd make it through this assignment without trying to look up godling.
Mad (& Lews)