my journey

[cadence]

*super big hugs to you!!*

Congratulations!!, I am so glad to hear that you are progressing forward to what you want in your life.
Your story has made me smile and kudos to you!!

[tessa]

minxy, that you care enough to be happy for me feels like a gift. That you are proud of me, well that means more than I can even say. ~hugs you tight~

pixie, your words are like a sweet hug. Thanks for your kindness! (Hopefully one of these days, we'll finally coincide in chat ~crossing my fingers~)

cadence, I feel like we're kind of going through this together. We're here for each other. Another great thing in my life!

And ceegee, I can't wait for that dressing room event to happen! Thanks for that image!!

~big group hug~

Those always feel so good!

[ceegee{Benz}]

And ceegee, I can't wait for that dressing room event to happen! Thanks for that image!!

or in the supermarket when u are at the freezer section....as u bend over to get something to put into ur shopping trolley and he creeps up behind u....pressing himself against u...taking u there and then........

just a feew more images to add to the folder that is growing..smirks

hugzzzzzzzz

[Psynymph]

*licks tessa* i'm sooo glad i got to meet and play with you in the room last night!!! hopefully we'll do that again!

it also spurred me to finally read your thread,which i had been meaning to since i came back around.

when i first came to this community, i believe one of my first threads had to do with what to do about a vanilla husband? granted, i was only four years into the relationship at the ( one year into marriage) plus we didn't have any kids. but i was young and newly married and then i discovered this lifestyle.

it was agonizing to discover this side of me, which now in hindsight i realize has always been there, and be unable to express it. i cannot imagine how hard it was for you, to keep it supressed for so long. the very idea doesnt even register in my impatient impulsive little mind.

of course reading your thread just made me sooooooo happy because though it's a hard journey, it looks like it will be a wonderfully successful one. although i wish you would go into a bit more detail about certain things.... *wink, wink*

your also an extremely intelligent, open-minded, self-aware person. your stubborn but you admit to your stubborness. your impatient, lol but you admit to your impatience. ( oh what happened to that damn petition by the way??)

i honestly, and sincerely look forward to each and every post you make about you and your husbands growing D/s relationship. it gives me hope, that one day, maybe we share success stories.

oh and yeah... remember DETAILS... explicit, raunchy details...... erm... helps with the advice giving.... really it does.... *weg*

[tessa]

[QUOTE]

*licks tessa* i'm sooo glad i got to meet and play with you in the room last night!!! hopefully we'll do that again!

Girl! ~licks back~ You are too much fun! I had a time and a half misbehaving with you! Let's do it again real soon, ok??

I read through your "married Vanilla" thread when I first joined (in fact, I've read through most of your threads). I could relate to so very much of it, found myself nodding throughout (that's when you know it's hitting home). After listening to and heeding the advice of those much wiser than I, this issue of BDSM, as it relates to my marriage, has been easier to deal with. And to put it bluntly, I needed to get over myself and just deal with the fact that all this is going to take time to develop. What is so horrible about that? Let me answer- nothing. Who am I to say, "poor me" when I have a husband who is more than willing to travel down this path with me, who loves me for me (bless his heart) and who shares a trust with me that is unshakable? Again, on the advice of one who knows, I am choosing to focus on the positives of what are and what can be rather than focusing on what isn't happening right now. (I'm trying not to look too pleased with myself. Is it working? Insert spanking here if necessary. Please?)

You know what you have going for you? Besides youth (grr). You have an open mind, one that at least validates your desires in this. When I was your age (ack! that hurt to say!) I didn't even allow myself to dwell too much on what my true desires were. I always believed that something must be terribly wrong with me to want what I wanted. Because of that feeling, I projected my perspective onto my husband- if I wasn't going to allow myself to go skipping down the BDSM trail, I was just sure he wouldn't want to go there either. How vastly unfair to us both. And tragic. Too many wasted years! But that was then, and now, well it's happening for us! So I think you'll find your way with a bit more ease than I did. And you've said you're taking a step back, taking some time for introspection, to help yourself figure out what all this means to and for you. That's a good thing. You must ultimately be comfortable and loving with yourself before you can be that way with another. And if it is something you truly want, you'll get it. Something tells me that, for the most part, you usually get what you want.

And please, oh bouncy one , please stick around here! I say that for purely selfish reasons, but I also say it because you can learn so much here! I am pretty sure I am the world's worst submissive. I want to be better, am trying to become a better sub, but with my husband having minimal experience, this place is my education. I discover so much about submissiveness and Dominance by reading what the amazing people here have to say. I wonder if they all realize how much impact their words have. I hope they do and I, again selfishly, hope they keep adding to it all.

Oh, the petition is in the works. Wanna help me pass it around for signatures? Since there are those that actually believe patience is a virtue (I know!!! Why would they???), I think doing the rounds naked would help the cause, don't you? Then perhaps they will all be distracted enough not to care what they were signing.

So, you're a detail whore as well? Me too!!! Can't get enough of those explicit, raunchy details. I'll see what I can do about adding a few here, just for you. ~licks~

Just you wait and see. We'll be sharing those success stories soon. I can't wait! (damn, there's that impatient monster again).

[tessa]

or in the supermarket when u are at the freezer section....as u bend over to get something to put into ur shopping trolley and he creeps up behind u....pressing himself against u...taking u there and then........

just a feew more images to add to the folder that is growing..smirks

hugzzzzzzzz

Frozen food section, here I cum!!!

~wicked, wicked grin~

Hugs!!

[Psynymph]

*tackles tessa and licks her*

you are soooo not the world's worst subbie.... your just a challenge. lol you keep things interesting....

like they say... gotta keep those Damn Demanding Doms on their toes.....

[Ronn]

Wraps arms around you and huggggggggggggggggggggggggs you so tight as i smile for you seeing things progressing for you. You are such a wonderful darling friend and a treat to talk to and i hope we can continue talking and laughing and teasing each other. Sweetheart you are a true treasure and a blessing and I am so HAPPY FOR YOU

[tessa]

~wraps myself around Psy and licks her back~ Just wait 'til I have time to post about what happened Thursday. I will win "world's worst subbie" hands down. People will be begging me to take the damn award.

And ronn, I have said this before and before, you are a sweetie! ~hugs~

[Mishka]

My husband blocked my path and when I moved to go around him, he asked me if I had forgotten something. I said "um, don't think so" as I really couldn't think of anything. He reminded me that we had agreed that I would only get two pieces. I said "yeah, but I like three." He just stood there looking at me. It finally dawned on me that he was expecting me to ask permission to get it (insert blonde joke here). I was incredulous, to put it mildly. I think I even asked him if he was serious. He was. So with a huge grin on my face, I asked him if I could also get this other piece. And with the shopkeeper looking on and not five feet away, my husband, the man I believed didn't have it in him, said "beg for it". I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, I was that happy.

last night, my husband asked if I would consider referring to him as "Master".

I cried reading this Tessa. That's wonderful.

[tessa]

~hugs mishkalicious~ You are a wonderful friend!

Ok, here's what happened on Thursday. (Part of the reason for telling this has to do with my punishment.)

Well, it had been a day. Just a regular day. I spent some of the morning in cahoots with my friend so we could get tickets to a concert we wanted to attend. We got the tickets, but later that day, I checked online again and found, what I believed to be, tickets for better seats. (It's Daughtry, so I wanna be as close as possible!)

Anyway, as I'm online, I'm looking at the seating chart for the arena, my husband walks up and asks what I'm doing. So I tell him. He then points out that section 'AA' is going to be behind section 'Z'. Knowing nothing of the venue and thinking logically of the alphabet, I said to him that AA had to be before just plain old 'A' section. Right? Made sense to my simple mind at least.

Not giving his comment too much thought, I called my friend and mentioned that I had these other tickets in sight and what did she think. She confirmed what my husband said, that 'AA' sits behind 'Z', so the tickets we already had were better seats. I chit-chatted a bit longer then rang off. My husband came downstairs and I told him that he was right after all and wasn't that something. He got a look on his face- that raised brow, slightly amused, "you're gonna get it now" look. What is that called? No matter, really, as he had that expression locked on his face. He stared at me for a few moments, and I was like "what??" He then said, "get on your hands and knees." I was all "goody!! playtime!!" Besides, I had on a teeny tiny tank top and thought he just wanted to see down my shirt, guy that he is and all.

So, I get on my hands and knees in front of him, making sure I'm positioned just so for optimal view-down-my-shirt lookability. I was getting into my full on flirty mode when he said, and I quote, "I'm sorry for doubting you about the seating issue." At this point I look up at him, thoroughly confused. So I say, "Why are you apologizing to me?? You were right about the tickets." Ok, ok. Even for a rookie, this is a no brainer, but I swear it just didn't occur to me what was going on!

That look showed up again on his face. As he stared down at me, he came back with, "Let me rephrase that. 'I'm sorry for doubting you about the seating issue, (slight pause here before saying) Master'."

This time I got it. He was giving me the words to say. The nano-second after I thought that thought, I realized, I AM GETTING PUNISHED! It was a wow, happy, incredulous, I can't believe it feeling! Elated is a good adjective to use. So what do I do? Look shamefaced and lower myself in front of him? Beg for lenience due to my incredible ignorance? Oh no, no, no! Not moi. No, I laughed. Yes. Laughed. I guess everything came together for me at the same exact time and it was a bit overwhelming.

Well there I am, on hands and knees, giggling about what a silly creature I am. (He told me later that had our son not been nearby, he would have beaten the hell out of my ass.) Know what I found out about Doms...well mine at least? They aren't too sugar pie about their subs laughing during punishment.

It's good to learn something new everyday, right?

[ceegee{Benz}]

oh the joys of having blonde moments eh lolol and TG for kids as well lmao.

Life is all about learning and listening to the different tones of voice used by one's Master. There will be tears of joy...happiness and pain all thru ur training. in fact ill rephrase that...all thru this life big big hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

seems to me like u plodding thru this at a ncie speed

heh hehe good for u

cg

[suchaminx]

tessa

smiles and hugs

whenever I read anything that you have written I always feel as if I was actually there

love and hugs

minxy xx

[moptop]

God, I just love this thread! You are such fun, tessa, and I'm quite certain that your blond moments will provide MANY hours of happy chastisement in the future! What I like most is that your husband is obviously realllllly into it now - and keeping you off balance by bringing it in to you during normal life, showing you that his dominance is not just for play time that you decide on... it's all just yummy. And yeah, what Psy said - more details, girl, more, more!

[tessa]

Ok, a few details...for those of you who are as detail hungry as I am.

What I didn't add before, but since my husband has now read my previous post and believes this should be added in, was the little extra he included in the punishment, seeing how I thought it was so humorous. While I was there on my hands and knees, giggling about how I can misunderstand the most obvious of things, he decided to add a bit of humility into the mix. He felt it appropriate, due to my attitude and all. I do get to be candid in how it made me feel. Like that helps. I didn't want to tell this part of it at all. For you smartass subs out there, there is a penalty for such behavior.

(One note- during this, my son was upstairs thoroughly engaged in Blue's Clues, out of ear and eye shot. I think that's important to mention as this is an issue I would imagine all D/s couples with children have to deal with.)

Anyway, back to details.

As I said before, I had on a teeny tiny tank top. The way I was positioned, most everything under said top was open for viewing. He sat in his chair in front of where I was on the floor and said, "I want some bounce action happening there." Knowing he meant my boobs, but really unsure of how to make that occur given my position, I replied with, "well how am I supposed to make that happen?" He was quick to come back with, "that's for you to figure out."

Ok, now I'm a little embarrassed. Which was the goal, I imagine. Don't know for sure as I don't do the think-like-a-Dom thing. So I'm trying to figure it out, as he said I needed to. Let me just say that he was enjoying the heck out of watching me try to figure it out. I rocked back and forth on my hands and knees first. That got some movement going. His idea of " go faster" helped out some too. I didn't mind it so much as I knew I probably looked pretty cute down there, moving back and forth like I was fucking back on something behind me. I must have exhibited some of that "damn, I'm cute" attitude, because then he said, "I want more jiggle."

If you think about it, being on hands and knees doesn't give very many movement options as it relates to tits. There's back and forth (which I had already used), side to side, and in a very limited way, up and down. That's pretty much the idea that flew through my mind when trying to figure out how to add "more jiggle" into this now quite humiliating experience. (Please know that at this time, I am typing under duress...this shi...um, retelling is just too mortifying.)

Side to side offers "more jiggle" as does up and down. Up and down on hands and knees, however, is plain out awkward and not at all attractive. (Maybe that's why he looked so amused during that part of it.) By this stage of the punishment, I realized that the "oh goody, playtime!" mentality was way, way off base. I actually felt chastised, even though it remained light hearted and amusing, well, for him anyway. I really was entirely un-amused at this point, left to figure out the jiggle factor of boobs and everything.

He very astutely pointed out that the reason for punishment was to encourage a change in behavior. And all this time I thought he was slow on the uptaking in regards to the workings of a D/s relationship. I've apologized to him for that, but I'm also doing it here as a public show of my obvious wrong. He's actually got a better mindset for the day to day of D/s than I do. Since I get to be forthright in this public part of the punishment, I can say that I feel much more comfortable with the sexual aspects of it all. He's still working on that part. No, that wasn't said with any smugness at all. Really!

ceegee, you are spot on- this was training, happy and painful that it was. I'm just trying to wrap my mind around it all. It's so not as easy as I thought it would be. Hugs to you too.

minxy, I wish you had been there! I would have had some sympathy, at least. But knowing you as I do, you would have also agreed that it was necessary. You are just good like that.

moptop, he is getting good at keeping me off balance. A surprise, but such a welcome one. Oh, and I do hope these details satisfied.

I have to add that I don't think he thinks I've learned my lesson. He spent time yesterday in his workshop making a seriously wicked looking paddle. It is rather pretty though.

I've just been informed that Doms also don't appreciate paddles being termed "pretty". Something else new I've learned.

(Me thinks I'm gonna experience that new paddle soon.)

[ceegee{Benz}]

I've just been informed that Doms also don't appreciate paddles being termed "pretty". Something else new I've learned.

(Me thinks I'm gonna experience that new paddle soon.)

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO pretty useful tho...winks

and yup..looks like u could be in for a lil spanking with that new paddle...u lucky thing u smirks

[tessa]

Lucky? I'm not so sure. I'll let you know after I am properly introduced.

huggles!

[ceegee{Benz}]

heh hehehe...n throws u a nice soft fluffy cushion to sit on

huggles

[Echoes]

Thank you tessa, this whole post brought a huge smile to my face and heart...and your poem "Take me please?" is breathtaking.

I hope the paddle is everything you wish for and everything you don't...not sure why I am saying this but just a feeling inside...that it is all you do wish for.

softest hugs

[Sir_Russell]

Once again Echoes shows that she is a very caring person.

Russell

[tessa]

~sits very gently, utilizing the cushion the ever helpful ceegee offered~

I was thinking the very same, Sir Russell. Echoes does make a soul smile.

And Echoes, your feeling inside, how did you know? Were you peeking?? ~smiles at you~ That paddle and the maker who fashioned it, those two combined were everything I could have ever wished for. ~deep contented sigh~ Everything and more.

(It also hurts like a snake bite! )

I am touched that you think something of my poem. You inspired it, actually, with your questioning smile. Did you notice? I am hoping you did.

~soft hug right back~

tessa

[Psynymph]

oo i missed quite a bit didnt i?

oh and let me say tessa.... i am SOOO jealous... lol, well not jealous, envious maybe.

you and your Master (yay MASTER) seem to be doing absolutely awesome. i realize there's alot of the hard stuff you probably don't put up here, the fights or misunderstandings, but either way y/Ya'll seem to be doing great.

and it's soooooo much fun to read the stuff you right.... i was like sitting here trying to figure out how to properly jiggle the boobies when your on hands and knees... lol i almost tried it!!!

and i really think it's admirable Y/ya'll are doing all of this with children around. it's hard enough with just life in general in the way, but i imagine it's even tougher when you have kids to consider.

i admire you B/both and look forward to the continuation of this thread....

*licks*

[tessa]

i realize there's alot of the hard stuff you probably don't put up here, the fights or misunderstandings, but either way y/Ya'll seem to be doing great.

Loads of it actually. My issues for the most part. ~points to self~ WWS, here, remember? Still haven't abolished impatience or patience, so I'm struggling right along.

i was like sitting here trying to figure out how to properly jiggle the boobies when your on hands and knees... lol i almost tried it!!!

Please try it and tell me what you found out. Please???!!!

and i really think it's admirable Y/ya'll are doing all of this with children around. it's hard enough with just life in general in the way, but i imagine it's even tougher when you have kids to consider.

It's challenging to say the least. Part of what has to be figured out. Along with the jiggle, of course.

*licks*

~licks back~ Dang, you're good at that!

[ceegee{Benz}]

So...... when is your Master planning to come online and say hello to us all??? lololol

[tessa]

So...... when is your Master planning to come online and say hello to us all??? lololol

I don't know. He was watching me type that part yesterday and I asked him if he wanted to join and say something. He didn't really respond, so I'm not sure what he was exactly thinking about. But I'll mention your idea to him. Maybe that will encourage him.

[ceegee{Benz}]

kewlllllllllllllllllllllllllllll...waves to tessa's Master

[DareDevil]

So...... when is your Master planning to come online and say hello to us all??? lololol

That would be today. Hello.

[Psynymph]

i wanna hump the car in Your avatar picture....

[ceegee{Benz}]

That would be today. Hello.

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Hello and welcome

ceegee

[DareDevil]

i wanna hump the car in Your avatar picture....

I'd like to see that (tessa says she would too) Bonus humps if you know the year, make, and model of the car.