curious ramblings

[samzum]

Good Luck to you both and may the heavens and your spirits soar. You both have that inner light that shines so wonderfully, and may you both enjoy it as much as the rest of the world sees it and is privileged to share in it.

[nowgirl]

although i don't want to stick my nose in to a thread where i don't know either of you very well...i guess i'm going to!

i've been reading this thread since it started and it's been interesting watching the dynamics of your relationship change throughout. thanks for sharing it all...it can't be easy but know it's been inspiring to see your commitment to each other.

good luck through this next phase of your relationship.

[karin]

thank you to all for your continuing support and kind words. its painful....but well...its just how it had to be..for now at least..til we..if we..can find our way back to each other in 'that' way....

[_ID_]

I would like to just underscore what she said, and thank you all for your support.

This is difficult, and at times have doubts if this is the right thing to do. I love my wife, and love our marriage together.

However, at this time, we can't seem to come together in this manner. So I lie awake at night, thinking, wondering... am I doing the right thing, am I ok with this? I don't know. All I know is I love this woman, and I am willing to work through whatever I need to, so that we will stay together.

ID

[Sir_G]

ID and Karin you know I'm here for both of you. I know how hard something like this is but I also know that hard work, communication and commitment are the keys to getting through this. (My wife and I went through a similar thing)

As I've already told you both my heart and ear are always available when I'm online. And I'm behind you both 100%. Thinking of and sending you both good vibes and energy everytime I think of you.

G

[orchidsoul]

ID and Karin-

Though I don't know either of you, your love for eachother brings tears to my eyes. I can only imagine how difficult are these times for you both.

I'm completely sticking my nose where it doesn't belong... and I apologize...but if I may offer a suggestion, based upon what you're both writing and particularly this exerpt below:

This is difficult, and at times have doubts if this is the right thing to do. I love my wife, and love our marriage together.

However, at this time, we can't seem to come together in this manner. So I lie awake at night, thinking, wondering... am I doing the right thing, am I ok with this? I don't know. All I know is I love this woman, and I am willing to work through whatever I need to, so that we will stay together.

why such a drastic measure to seek out another so soon? There's evidently history of d/s working with you both aside from just play, and there's tons and tons of love and devotion to eachother...

perhaps you just need more time to achieve the balance you once had? Maybe it won't be the same exact way as before, but a new and improved "works for our daily life" compromise...

I've no experience to even lend validity to this reasoning... my heart truly aches for you both. All relationships go through ups and downs... maybe muddling the waters right out of the gate will do just that... get more confusing?

Again, I apologize for saying anything or everything out of line. It's not always that people are as madly in love with eachother as you two sound, and that deserves a longer chance of trying to make it work... there is a solution... it's just not always quick getting there.

I'm fortunate, my parents have been married 35 years. Trust me when I say it wasn't always strong, or happy, or fulfilling... but they are the love of eachothers lives... still... and always will be.
To me, you echo my parents love, and perhaps that's why I'm so compelled to say something...

all my best to you both.

orchidsoul

[_ID_]

orchidsoul - thanks very much for your thoughts. Our love is indeed strong. I do believe that is what will keep us together.

ID

[orchidsoul]

Hi ID and Karin,

Just wanted to say congratulations to both of you!

I hope my previous post, particularly it's incredibly poooooor timing (I should read more before posting!), was not taken offensively or in judgement, as it sincerely was not intended as such. I am really sorry if it came across in any other way than extending my sympathies and sharing my thoughts.

All the best to you both, and in your new explorations.

cheers,
Orchidsoul

[karin]

thank you orchid. i think we may have found a solution to our problem. we love each other...that's been made very clear i believe. so....we have..expanded our horizons so to speak. we both have made connections that we intend to pursue as much as possible.....oddly...we are both ok with that. we've not 'gone there' in our relationship. so this is a new journey. will keep you posted as to how things progress.

thank you for your kind thoughts...

[_ID_]

Stands at her side as she says this... fully supporting her.

[_ID_]

I am sure people will notice the change in karins profile... she is fine, but has decided to withdraw from the forms due to some things within our life. We are fine as a couple, and are enjoying our life... We would both like to thank all those that supported us through our growth.

ID

[polarbear9889]

ID & karin, i got all teary reading this thread... so much love yet so much sadness...
i would like to wish you both ALL THE BEST in your future endeavors. *hugs*

[_ID_]

For those of you who attempted to help. All efforts made to mend what was broken has failed. She and I no longer live together. She is with another now, and we are going to remain good friends.

[submissive sugar]

I did not know you two at all but I am sorry to hear that your marriage is ending.

[ObeyMe]

For those of you who attempted to help. All efforts made to mend what was broken has failed. She and I no longer live together. She is with another now, and we are going to remain good friends.

Interesting.......

[cariad]

I hate even partially sad endings - but am pleased that you have salvaged a friendship.

cariad

(ID - sorry I missed this when you posted)

[_ID_]

As Paul Harvey said....

And the rest of the story...

~ Ashes ~



A relationship requires kindling to fuel the fires of passion and love this kindling can come in many forms: beauty, brawn, brains, tenacity, creativity. once the fires of love and passion are burning hot, they have the power to create life, to start wars, conquer nations

this kindling should be easy to gather, bountiful in its occurrence
the kindling come from trust, honesty, transparency and communication when those things are kept from the relationship the fires of passion and love can be diminished when the fires of this relationship are extinguished by ambiguity, dishonesty and false hoods nothing can be salvaged from it.

what I thought was a fire of passion and love turned out to be a burning magnesium flare burning before my eyes, blinding me from seeing what was right in front of me, casting shadows of self doubt, diminishing self-esteem. Others around me told me that what I saw needed to be looked at from a different view. I didn't want to believe them, the light in my life was so wonderful to look at, gaze upon, watch and the warmth I felt when near the fire was comforting

It turns out this magnesium flare was ignited by one simple match this match burned me, left marks upon my soul, and once the flare burned its self out, I was able to see un-blinded, see that the kindling that was provided wasn't natural, wasn't pure. It was gathered from the sludge of dishonesty, ambiguity. this left what I thought was a good relationship in nothing but ashes

I have done what I thought necessary to keep the match from burning more than my soul, to protect my life, and what I have in my life. to protect my home, and what I have in my home. to protect my family, and those who know they are my friend.

Never again I say, never again...

[_ID_]

A follow up to this...

If you would like to know specifics, I will tell you in private only. I know many of you followed this, and I want to again thank you for the efforts of trying to help where you could.

There are two interested parties that I am sure would be interested, though as I understand it, one of them is not able to frequent the forms. Due to this, I will allow his contact to pass that information along. Also from PM only.

[_ID_]

just looking over this thread... what a great journaling of a deteriorating relationship. I hope to learn from all of it, so that I might not repeat the mistake of blindly trusting another.

[tessa]

I smile, sadly of course, the way you say that, ID. "Blind trust" is such a complex idea for me to roll around in my mind. I know it's there to have, a gift just waiting to be opened. But most times, it just sits there, a prettily wrapped package that is purposefully overlooked. Does one tragic happening in life have to dictate what follows? I am asking for myself as much as anything, I do believe.

I hope you find cause to unwrap that particularly spectacular gift for yourself again one day.

~hugs~
tessa

[Ozme52]

Life is about balance. We say it all the time to our subs, that they are at their best when they are "in balance." (Or at least I say it all the time...)

I suspect the next chapter will be especially good for you ID.

Good fortune to ya.

[tessa]

Life is about balance. We say it all the time to our subs, that they are at their best when they are "in balance." (Or at least I say it all the time...)

I suspect the next chapter will be especially good for you ID.

Good fortune to ya.

"Balance"...

I've heard that word quite often of late. You've added to my thoughts on it, Oz. My thanks.

Still thinking about you, ID. ~hugs~

tessa

[_ID_]

thanks Oz and tess... I have a near horizon in view. I look at it as an attainable goal, and hope one day when it comes to fruition I can present the gift you mentioned tess.

[Rhabbi]

ID, sad to see a relationship fall aprt, but as long as you grow and continue to live it is not all a failure. Live and learn may sound trite, but it is also true.

[Ozme52]

"Balance"...

I've heard that word quite often of late. You've added to my thoughts on it, Oz. My thanks.

tessa

You are most welcome tessa.