Is this the right place?

[Curtis]

(I never know which section to drop a new thread into.)

Anyway, has anyone else noticed how often a Personals thread will start with the poster specifying 'o/l only' relationships, but then say 'must be 24 or less', or '19 year old wanted'? (This is where the fantasy part comes in.)

In an on-line-only relationship, what difference does it make how old your partner is? Even if you have her taking pictures, I couldn't tell a 24 year old from a 34 year old, and I doubt you could, either. I suppose it must be part of the fantasy to have someone young taking orders from you (yeah, right!), but still, it makes me wonder just what these guys -- and they're all guys -- are thinking.

[Caine]

In an on-line-only relationship, what difference does it make how old your partner is?

I don't know about everybody, but I think one legitimate reason for having an age specified is compatibility. If a twenty-something is trying to dominate a forty-something it could be hard to find common ground, especially online where you don't even have pheromones to help you out.

Obviously my theory doesn't apply to those seeking someone significantly younger than themselves.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Anyway, has anyone else noticed how often a Personals thread will start with the poster specifying 'o/l only' relationships, but then say 'must be 24 or less', or '19 year old wanted'? (This is where the fantasy part comes in.)

Yeah. I know what you mean. I was actually thinking of making a reply to the thread that the person (I assume) you are referring to started. I refrained, though, because I might have gotten into trouble with the Personals forum mod.

[Curtis]

I was actually thinking of making a reply to the thread you are referring to.(edited) I refrained, though, because I might have gotten into trouble with the Personals forum mod.

And we appreciate your restraint. Since this is my thread, and I can sidetrack it if I want to, I've been meaning to ask you, Tourguide, is your latest Avatar the Malcolm MacDowell character from "Clockwork Orange"?

Caine, your response coincidentally echoed something I told another poster just a couple of nights ago. Damn you. (Okay, I CANNOT get these smilies to work, and no the 'disable' box has not been checked -- assume there's a winking one here.)

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Tourguide, is your latest Avatar the Malcolm MacDowell character from "Clockwork Orange"?

No, but Droogie15's is.

[slavelucy]

What an interesting point, Curtis.

During my degree, i did some modules on the Philosophy of Mind, one of which focused on the notion of machine consciousness (in relation to the mind being seperate from the body, and the properties of the mind etc). This thread made me ponder some of this again. What i mean is...if you took what you're saying to the nth degree..does it even matter if another person is at the other end of the communications? There are already a number of online 'machines' that will speak back to you and 'learn', the more people they converse with..technically, they could be 24, 19, 104, whatever...weird. (whether they're actually 'subbing' to you is a whole other can of worms).

Another point i thought of when reading your post was in relation to when you say you (and others) would sometimes struggle to judge a womans age in real life, let alone online...then surely, if you stretched that arguement, it doesn't matter what age they are in real life either...?

Having said all that, i would generally agree that when people post ads for subs under a certain age, it is most likely based on a fantasy, because the persons age is never going to actually affect them..i would also question therefore whether it's actually true submission they are looking for, or, um, something else.

i'm rambling, i liked the thread, nuff said.

sl
.................................................. ........

I refrained, though, because I might have gotten into trouble with the Personals forum mod.

Oh yeah, i hear she's a real bitch. And yeah, don't want to make complete asses of ourselves (well, any more than usual!) by reprimanding each other.

[Nightstriker]

I must say that this is very intresting and has made me think for a little while Thanks Curtis.

While in the various personal ads that I have put out I have not specified age, though I do personally have a limit, and prefrences, myself. I have these limits in place not because I don't want to be dating a 40+ year old but because I feel that it would be difficult to relate to them in most any way. There is just so much time diffrence between me and them that communication would be difficult.

The other reason I have my limitations is well I want someone around my own age right now. Plain and simple.

Though I can understand some people want for someone younger, to have some young woman/man at their side and make them feel a little more youthful.

[Curtis]

Wow, I'm getting thoughtful responses! Who'd've thunk it?

I actually agree with both Nightstriker and Caine that age differences can be important in a relationship. In r/l I've had no age-related problems with an 8 1/2 year difference, but manymany with 16 and 18 year differences.

And this may explain why women seem less likely to specify an age. I have several very successful ongoing relationships of the platonic variety with women who're anywhere from 18 years younger to 36 years older than I am. In other threads, several (many?) of the women in the Forum have said that they don't see BDSM as a sexual thing, whereas nearly all the men who've expressed opinions have come down on the 'sexual' side.

I like lucy's notion of the machine consciousness. In the end, if you're never going to meet, what difference WOULD it make if you were corresponding with a machine?

As far as r/l relationships go, if we're only going to bed, and I don't have to actually relate to her, age really doesn't make a difference. The perception of age DOES, however. I've seen half a dozen 60 year old women with whom I would be very flattered to be invited to bed, but that's because they don't 'look their age'. If they're 60 and look 45, or if they're 12 and look 18, I don't have any problem with it (at least, not until the men in blue come knockin' at my bedroom door). Unfortunately, this is likely to cycle us back to another of Tourguide's 'don't have cosmetic surgery' threads.