How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle?
I think my first exposure to BDSM was Mr. T's website --seeing tied-up women. I knew I liked it--but wasn't sure why. Then I bought handcuffs from a head shop in T.O. Tried them on my wife during sex, she tried them on me during sex, Couldn't really get her excited about sex anyway, so not much success. Next gf was more experimental. We experimented; I figured out what I liked. Finally I met someone who is compatible with me on other levels--and interested in domination/punishment. We had started playing full-time before I realized that there is a "lifestyle" and that there were other people out there to connect with. It makes it more fun. Some people know about the lifestyle before they ever get the nerve and/or opportunity to try it; some people are doing it first, then realize that it has a whole culture around it. The internet is good for that.

What was its appeal to you?
Feels good?

What misconceptions did you have of BDSM before you began that have been changed now?
For a long time I considered play to revolve around eventual orgam. I now realize that the process of bondage and discipline can be erotic release in itself--as obvious at a play party. I have developed that love for pain-for-pain's-sake.

What do you hope to learn/teach/pass on to others about BDSM?
I want the vanilla straight world to understand that sexual preference comes in as many flavours as Baskin Robbins ice cream. People are starting to understand that some women prefer women, some men prefer men... Well some men prefer to dominate, some women prefer submission, and some men like pain, and some women like to give it. It's all good. YKINMK.

Do you consider yourself a "lifestyler" or just an occasional player?
Not 24/7... For reasons of parenthood, and career. But I consider myself a committed lifestyler.

What do you enjoy about being dominant/submissive?
Surrendering control. And did I mention I'm a pain slut?

What do you like about your dominant/submissive(s), if you have one (them)?
She is creative. I cannot remember two scenes that were the same ever--even a quick bedroom playtime is a work of art. She puts out amazing amounts of effort into play--and doesn't even realize that I would be satisfied with less. Most of my fantasies revolve around things she's already done.