dear romantic tessa,
I like the rewrite, I liked the idea from the start, the wandering mind of honeymoon lust. That was a great way to catch it, the diverging points of view. Was this assignment descibing a perfect deflowering?
Nice way to emphasize the romance instead of just the raw intrusion of a live account of their actual acts together. One has to wonder what else he did to her, for her to be so hypnotized.
Be kinda fun to see a more graphic (yet still tastefully romantic) live account of this weekend. Just a thought.
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