Quote Originally Posted by BDSM_Tourguide
Anyone want to try to contribute more to it?
Why yes I would.

My wife and I, suddenly moved from a long term mild bedroom spanking fetish into D/s over the last year. We were separated for several months, but by year's end had worked thru almost all our relationship problems. Although she spoke first we both wanted more out of life. I stopped drinking and we started to explore D/s, each other, and those secret things that are deep inside ourselves.

I have had a few long term relationships which always had an underpinning that I was unwilling to change and "you" could leave if "you" wish. This relationship was a 13 year marriage operating under the same rules. As it was coming apart, I had a phone conversation with a lifelong friend who was several years past a real ugly divorce. In it she told me that one of her few life regrets was not trying harder when things got tough to work it out. She gave up. It may not have mattered, but her not at least trying still nagged at her.

Several long hikes later I was willing to do anything to make it work. If it didn't work out then a bruised ego would be a small cost knowing that I really had tried to save the only marriage I was likely to have in my life.

The threat of being alone had never bothered me before, although the prospect of dating pushing 50 was not that appealing. These thoughts were seen thru my then vanilla-eyes. LOL The idea of dating with my now totally BDSM wired brain wakes me in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and shaking. The vanilla days are over for good.

We were moving to Vegas and were trying D/s with me topping. One night she talked me into her trying a new flogger on me.

WOW,it blew me away. Our D/s was struggling and we were both going to explore D/s outside of our marriage, within limits.

She is a total sub, but suggested that we try with her the domme. I was cool with this, but never thought it would go past a few scenes. I was really into "playing" the sub. The first few hotel scenes were fun.

After this scene I'm about to relate I realized that trying something new in BDSM and not liking it is not always the most disturbing. It is trying something and liking it.

We were staying at the close friends house near the end of the summer while shopping for an apartment. I was given the task of finding two belts during the day to administer a punishment that night for some forgotten infraction. To me this was not much more than poorly disguised edgy talk since there would be others in the house that evening. Later when the evening was winding down and the others were leaving the pool area to retire to bed she told me to remove my shirt and come with her.

There was an alley between the houses that was gated on one end and mostly blocked by a storage shed on the other. "Lower your pants and shorts" followed by a slap when I hesitated slightly. The humiliation of being where we would certainly be heard if not seen, suddenly made the scene "too" real. I was naked from the ankles up and leaning into the stucco on my knuckles. I could hear the clicking of her heels as she was walking around me taunting, pinching and whispering in my ear as she pulled my hair as she made one point or another. It was a warm windless night and when the spanking started the sound of it reverberated off the cement walls.

Foolish me actually snuck a peek around to take in the line of sight of the surrounding houses while she was going thru a pile of toys that were surprisingly right behind me. I remember thinking "where did they come from?" when my transgression was noticed. She was right in my face "Do you trust me?" as she twisted a nipple. "Yes, Goddess" SLAP, "then let me worry about anyone seeing us, because you have enough to worry about already." In that instant, I truly believed her.

The scene lasted over an hour. I remember short parts of it vividly. The sound of water falling into the pool around the corner, the clicking of her heels, moving my hands on the wall, and the still air on my sweating body. The spanking moved to a paddling, on to a flogging, followed by a paint stick on my thighs(the evil bitch) and nipples. I remember her roughly shoving her finger up my ass, a short amount of oral sex which was just to get Mr Happy to be a bigger target for cbt, and the constant verbal barrage as she walk around seemingly speaking from every point in the now very close alley. I was long past caring about anyone seeing us, my arms were shaking and my breathing labored. Most of it was a blur and at the same time seemed to go on forever. If the police suddenly showed up at the curb, it seem like this would not be a bad thing to me at the time.

Then the belts were brought out for play. I was deep in subspace, long past caring, but the sound of them striking me seemed very loud compared to how little I was feeling them was disturbing. When it was over she told me to turn around. Now, I'm 6'1" and much taller than her, but until turning around it felt as if she was towering over me. I was shaking, physically and mentally.

She told me to masturbate. In a feeble voice I whispered, "yellow". She held me, comforted me and told me how good of it was for me to use my safeword.

We moved inside and she had me worship her pussy. After she came, she found her mask, kissed me, and rolled over to go to sleep. The last thing she said was "You may masturbate now, but if you disturb me getting to sleep there will be consequences" As I laid there quitely playing with myself I thought how it was now a whole new ballgame for me. I fell to sleep the happiest in years.

I enjoy being a submissive, but I have problems how the vanilla world sees "me", if they knew. Also, how I see myself, and how I was raised. The feelings that this scene brought forth, even if I return at some point to domming, make it impossible to return the vanilla life as I knew it. I went from "in" control of my life to being led into the Fetish Ball on a leash connected to my collar, but contented. sigh.

It seems strange that just several months ago we were so far apart when now we are so close. I want to thank this forum and its members for their openness and knowledge at a time when I really needed it to work out my life.

tj