My first exposure to BDSM was the writings of Marquis de Sade. Juliette & Justine made my pulse (and other things heh-heh) get excited, but it seems those writings are more aimied at men than women. Or at least, at Doms / Dommes. "O" is certainly beautiful in places; the chance to walk through the character's thoughts and fears helps one understand some of their own feelings... that there's something natural and common about them, not perverse. It removes some of the lonliness.

de Sade's writings are the glorifying of the Top's feelings. Those tomes deal with either learning to understand and like the emotions experienced by controlling another. And, again, it removes some of the lonliness in the belief you're the only one in the world who feels that way. In a sense, it frees you from the stigma of "wierd" and simply makes one unique.