I understand that each couples views on collared submisive vs. slave are based on thier own opinions and ideas.

I have a bit of difficulty understanding the control part of the relationship.
Forgive me if I am hijacking this thread in a different direction, but I was curious about some things.

My interpretation is that a person who loses thier individuality regardless of whether they are an owned slave or submissive is borderlining on more of an abusive relationship. That is just my own opinion.

My curiousity lies in what a sub or slave gives up in the relationship. I am not referring to anything pertaining to any sexual play, but the average daily things vanilla people would not consider asking permission for.

Although my boyfriend and I do not live a D\s relationship, at times I think we borderline it.
While he did guide me and control most of my decisions, he gave me plenty of freedom to do what I pleased. However when I was asked to do something for him, I had never denied any of his requests.
I was happy to do whatever he asked of me, and would even rearrange my schedule to suit him.
Maybe it is because I have that deep seeded need to do this, as I still do, and he appreciates it.
The only thing we lack is any discipline or punishments when I do not do things his way.

So before I start to ramble on more, what are the things a collared sub or slave give up in the relationship, and what are the things you do not have to give up control of.