Dear Satan,

Allrighty, since all of the awkward sentences have been handled so deftly by others already, I will get on to other things.

I am so impressed that English is not your first language. The few awkward sentences could be attributed to this? Bravo! This piece caught my attention and kept it.

I can see what you were trying to go for, and you admitted it was a bit short in length, so the first thing it left me craving is some elaboration. I agree with H Dean about the surprise ending, and I believe you could pull it off and include more build up.

Making the man more disgruntled about his chores might work, so that we get to wondering what he will do about it. I wanted to be more convinced of his strength to accomplish this "not a switch story" ending. At least a hint that he is capable.

How did he earn this? There is a lot missing from the grease up, and it was almost like getting it without lube; I want to know something of how and why, be more in the mood for a resolution. You could go for the no lube effect with the surprise ending.

Please take this as a matter of personal aesthetic, simply my own taste.

The note about it not being a switch story at the end, was that intented to be part of the story? I think this is an example of explanation as a mechanism of self defense, either way. Why bother? It is a good story. If you don't want people to think it is a switch story, you will have to make it tell that part.

Sub boy in action, sub boy failing, failed Domme subbing for this turned lazy boy...somehow a switch happened there, I hate to tell you. I have no idea how. Looks like a switch, smells like a switch... if the intention is not to wreak of a switch (conscious or uncounscious), something must be done to illustrate this. I am [I]not[I] convinced.

Why so against the story being a switch story? I am not the kind that thinks there are no true doms or subs out there. Just because I might be Jewish I would not deny that people enjoy Jesus and Santa (or Satan for that matter). It is evident that many people do, whether I get it or not. Some of the kindest people I know are dom and the sweetest nicest ones subs. I wouldn't write a story about them and then say this is not a D/s story!

No one will think you are a switch, it is fiction, remember? Convince me it is not a switch story. You brought it up. If you had never said that, the content itself would never have been addressed by me. Smelled of begging for a debate, that last note.

Fix that, if that was the point of it. Is he is really a naturally dominant man in a sub situation for a strange reason? This could truly be an intersting psycological look at the affect of trying to be what one is not. Then indeed, there would be no switch, but the story will a still involve a switching of sorts.

Then turn the tables so we can't see till the end, and wham, hit us with no lube! You've got a great story here with a little work.

Nicely done, nonetheless, for all my gripes.

Beswitchingly