There's violence and then there's violence. I think there's a definite difference between the symbolic violence practiced in BDSM and actual physical violence against women. For instance, a whipping or spanking can be arousing, but if you get off on hitting women in the face or punching them in the stomach, then I've got to think there's something wrong with you.

Certainly there's pain involved in BDSM, but it's rarely administered in anger. In fact, all the whips and chains and costumes seem to be designed to blunt any signs of anger and keep the violence within certain acceptable bounds. The classic Dom is more or less cold and calculating. He's not a guy who flies into violent rages.

That's not to say that there aren't quite a few hardcore misogynists and even psychopaths who hide behind the BDSM label, but you don't have to be a sadist to enjoy the symbolic passion of BDSM. You don;t even have to be into violence.

---dr.M.