Hiya egwmilaw,

Well, i don't know anything about creams etc that keep people arroused, all i could suggest on that front is doing a search online....but i do know that there are many other ways of keeping people arroused that doesn't involve creams...*grins*...maybe try them...orgasm deprivation being a pretty reliable one...which you could do whether or not you are with him (i only say that because i wondered if you mentioned the cream because you wern't always with him in person).

As for pain and CBT..heh, obviously i have NO idea, from any perspective..but i do have an idea of pain, generally....i think any pain (be it on a male or female) is probably more about just testing it out really...i wonder if the reason no one has replied is because no one could possibly say 'Well, THIS is as much as i can take on my balls"..because that could easily not be the case for your sub. The same rules applies to pushing a sub in terms of taking them to the brink of climax...it relies very heavily on knowing them, enough to know when they are on the verge of cumming and what they can/cannot take after that. When you say:

I would like to know...how i can understand that he is ready to cum..in order not to let him!
Well, until you know him well enough to pretty much be able to guess, then just ask him to tell you or tell him he is to ask for an orgasm..believe me, the urgency with which a person asks will make it pretty damn clear how close they are.

Hope this helps.

sl