Chemist and part-time college teacher.

I've always had a dream of being a mad scientist, doing hellacious experiments on bound women in mad laboratories with lightening flashing outside. It's probably not possible, but I think I came pretty damned close.

Last summer I taught a chemistry course to a class of 14 girls and one guy, and the lectures were held in this tiny auditorium where the students sat on risers. Sure enough, on several days some of the girls sitting third row up wore skirts, and I could see all the way up. Unfortunately, I'm not much in to upskirts and that kind of thing, but still I had to laugh. It was such a cliche.

I'm still waiting for the girl to come to me with that "Oh professor! I'll do anything to pass this course! Just anything!" business. From the dirty stories you read, you'd think it happened all the time.

---dr.M.