Very interesting read. As someone who has just started to "dip her toe" into the waters of submission I have found the need to examine why I desire this. Of all the questions I have asked myself . . .self esteem level hasn't been one of my concerns. I would not consider myself to be someone with low self esteem.

Yes, I can see where trauma which led to low self esteem could make for a submissive person. No, that isn't correct. . .the term submissive doesn't fit. Timid or someone overly eager to please, but that doesn't necessarily describe a submissive. A submissive can have self esteem issues or be someone who is confident enough to relinquish control to another person, carefully chosen and trusted for mutual pleasure.

One thing I did consider was the esteem of a Dom. The need to control, intimidation, or hurt another could be a way of compensating for a low self esteem or not. Haven't we all heard of kids who pick fights or tease others in order to make themselves feel better?

I am not by any means saying that Dom's are bullies or have low self esteem. No more then I would say that about submissives. It just seems to me that the role a submissive places him or herself in, is easier to see as a low self esteem, without realizing that the actions of a dominate could also be seen as low self esteem.

I think there are as many Dom's with low self esteem as there are subs. The potential for abuse is the difference.

Is it right to dominate a low self esteem sub? I would think it depends on the dominates own level of esteem. One who is compensating for a low self esteem him/herself, I would say no. If the dominate has a balanced self esteem then I would say that yes. A person with a good self esteem generally seeks out one who also has a good self esteem. If a dom with good self esteem got with a sub with low self esteem either the mix would fall apart and they go seperate ways or the sub, through the support of a caring dom, increases his/her self esteem.

Somehow though I think that if it was reversed. . .low self esteem dom with a good self esteem sub, bringing the esteem of the dom up wouldn't occur. I could be wrong, but it just seems the roles wouldn't encourage that.