Why Do Men Lie?

[Gallardo]

I agree with midnight even though she didn't really touch on why men lie. Which leads me to Project's comments.

"What the article was discussing was biological gender imperatives to lie."

Like midnight pointed out, gender is a creation by society, not biology. And the language we created and speak do reflect our gender biases. Then again would one change the word manhole to personhole?

Going back, to say "biological gender" is at least a little bizzarre. I assume the article explores the motives of lying based on sex but clearly one cannot escape the conventions of society in creating biases.

[ProjectEuropa]

I assume the article explores the motives of lying based on sex but clearly one cannot escape the conventions of society in creating biases.

Maybe I'm going to stir up a hornets nest here but it's not my intention.

If socialisation is so strong why are there so many gays?

I was brought up in a small mining community. There were eight males of my precise age brought up in a similar environment on the same street. Looking back it was a tolerant community accepting a wide range of diviancy, both social and sexual. However it was a traditional heavy industrial community and outwardly very male dominant but domestically female dominant. Two of those eight males are gay. If socialisation was so powerful those two gay males, one who is still a very good friend of mine, should have been beer drinking, soccer loving and horny for any female who breathes.

Now I can't explain a biological imperative for their sexuality but it does lead me to question the strength of socialisation. One can learn to be a social chameleon but those two gay males must have had powerful feelings within them to be openly gay and resist the socialisation process of the environment they were raised in.

[Curtis]

And studies done raising infants with the 'opposite' gender cues (exposing girls to more blue and tractors, and boys to more pink and dolls) discovered that AS A GROUP these imposed gender cues were totally rejected. There's certainly some hard-wiring going on as far as gender is concerned.

[AndrewBlack]

No doubt, but to define something as cognitive and circumstantial as motivations for lying? I mean these are the highest order cerebral processes not what urges you have. I think the higher the cerebral functions involved the more cognitive you get, the less innate you get. The more you flesh out your desires and urges with specifics, the more learned it is. There's stuff I've read in this library that turns me on a lot that I'd never thought of before; equally the specifics of my desires have changed the more I've known. As for coping with social relationships you only have a repertoire of learned responses, you may fancy someone innately but you use learned behaviours to actually approach them and tell them so. Equally you manage that relationship in the same way. My opinion.

I think that your town does not constitute an equal social playing field. Just because 8 people are in geographical proximity does not make their experiences the same by a long way. That's not to say that there are not genetic componenets which I'm sure there are, just that it's not possible to control for environmental factors even with non-identical twins.

[Michael]

all the psyco babble aside........
we lie because it's eazier then telling the truth.......
end of story........



Michael

[vistana]

Why is lying easier than telling the truth?
If you choose to lie, you have to think, and come up with a plausible story. You have to make something up.
If you tell the truth, you already know it, all you have to do is talk, instead of having to invent a story.

Lying may often be more convenient than telling the truth, but it's not easier.

[Pandora's Box]

all the psyco babble aside........
we lie because it's eazier then telling the truth.......
end of story........



Michael

No. We lie because we are afraid.

[Alex Bragi]

Well, I haven’t read the article ProjectEuropa is referring to, but it sounds a little tongue in cheek to me, too. That’s not say it isn’t an interesting topic for discussion. Perhaps, just not one to be taken too seriously, I think.

So, why do men lie to men?

I believe, the most common, and frequently told, lie by men to other men is about how much sex their getting and, or, how good it is. Interestingly enough, it’s thought to be one of the primary causes of physiological impotence. It’s to do with their fragile egos – “I have great sex at least ten times a week.” Comments like this are bound to make some poor bugger feel inadequate with his performance, and that can cause a man to literally drop. But I guess that’s a whole new topic.

Now, why do men lie to women?

Men lie to women, mostly, to get sex. ‘”I swear you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.” The average red-blooded male, who has reached puberty, will usually do, or say, just about anything to get laid. When a man says sex with his ex-girlfriend was lousy, he is lying to make you feel good. When he tells you sex with his ex was fantastic, he is lying again to get more you to try something new. It’s important to remember sex for men is one of life's constants -- it's always pretty good.


Of course not all men’s little lies are so desperate. Men will lie to make life easier -- “No, of course I wasn’t looking at the woman’s gorgeous big breasts.” Then, they lie to shift the blame-- “It wasn’t my fault she flashed them in my face” They lie to make themselves feel bigger, better, and more important-- “I used to date woman with breasts bigger than hers!” And they lie just to keep the peace -- “No, darling, your breasts are much nicer than hers.”

Basically, I think how much a man will exaggerate and overestimate himself depends very much on how much he wants impress, or pacify, the woman he’s lying to. So, in a twisted kind of way, having a man like to you, really isn’t really such a bad thing is it?

In a BDSM situation of consensual sex, how dominant is a male dom and how submissive is a female submissive and is this an extreme reflection of the wider relationship between men and women?

And on a more serious note, yes, I would agree with that statement. I think perhaps for primitive women (and perhaps many species of mammals) a female's ‘submissiveness’ is often her ‘protection’.

Studies done, with our closest relatives, show that female apes and monkeys frequently ‘offered’ themselves to dominant males in their troop in order to pacify them. An aggressive, but physically smaller and weaker female, soon finds herself in trouble if she confronts a bigger and stronger male.

Of course, we have evolved. We are civilized. But our insticts and primary emotions remain unchanged.