i can only respond to this point on a personal level, a submissive female one.

i personally believe that we need to consider intention. There is a difference between receiving violence and receiving pain. Violence is never pleasant to receive, pain can be under certain circumstances. There is also a difference between a Dominant and a sadist, a difference between wanting to be taken and controlled and wanting to be tortured.

If we are looking at ‘power exchange relationships’ then the last word needs attention too. There is undoubtedly a relationship between torturer and victim, but if it is non-consensual violence then it is a very limited relationship.

If the intention of the Dominant is to use pain to increase pleasure or arousal in the submissive then the pain is being used positively for both parties. If the intention is for pleasure or arousal to be gained by only one party i fail to see it as anything other than selfish behaviour lacking in sensitivity. Yes, the best Dominants are sensitive.

There is also the question of there being a difference between fantasy and reality. Surely if one is aroused by the fantasy of extreme violence then it actually must effect the way that one looks upon women (or submissives) in real life too.

Personally i do not believe being a submissive equates with receiving violence.

emma_sub