DarkSister,

I like the story, and the way you build the suspense. the use of scenery and description is excellant, took me right into the coach. So much so that I had to step back when I realized the narrator was a female. Great job.

One nit pick: The first two paragraphs are one long sentence. I realize we are gettin into her head, but I think it needs some work. Try to set off the outside descriptions from the inside commmentary.