Another type of activity the internet seems to have spawned in the online BDSM community is the practice of the dominant partner controlling who the submisive partner talks to on messengers, what sites he or she visits, and with whom the submissive exchanges emails. These practices exist almost exclusively in internet relationships. They do not even translate into real world situations. Would a dominant in a real world conversation make his submissive tell him what she plans to tell the person to whom she is talking so that he may approve the idea or statement, and then allow her to then tell the person to whom the idea was originally to be directed? Somehow, the practice does not seem to translate to real world situations at all.

There are similar practices that do apply, but are much less obtrusive and controlling. A slave asking permission to speak in a social situation is not at all uncommon. A submissive giving her dominant a questioning look and him nodding to her to indicate she may speak or ask a question is even a widely-accepted practice. However, to prohibit a submissive from visiting certain places or restricting her from talking to people she knows is not BDSM, it's contolling, isolationism, and possibly abusive.

This applies to the online community as well. For a dominant partner to limit the submissive's access to websites, forums or chats that may be informative, educational or entertaining limits the submissive's ability to grow as a person and as a submissive. It also isolates the submissive from other peoples' opinions, advice, answers to questions, and help. To limit the people with which the submissive may exchange emails or instant messages with is manipulative and isolating as well. These practices have no place in the realm of BDSM, online or offline. The pure ego involved in even affecting these practices is staggering. One would wonder what the dominant is trying to cover up. One might also wonder why a dominant might not want his submissive associating with people that might give him or her advice, help, and answers to questions, or why the dominant might not want the submissive speaking with people other than the dominant.