My most esteemed, Mr. Dean, Literary Lord, Creative Caliph, Grand High Poobah of Smut,

You're just jealous because Rhabbi got his Jr. Grammer Nazi, First Class Secret Decoder Ring and you didn't. LOL ;p
But seriously.
There is really only so much you can with dialogue, because the leeway is so great. i picked on spelling and punctuation errors. The word choices were really good.

*whispers* besides, i'm trying to lull him into a false sense of security

rose