Just something else I needed to get out. Read if you want, don't feel like you have to. Just know that it's in no way related to bdsm in any form, just about life.


Failure
Why in life when things are going so well, do I feel the need to do something stupid? Why is it that no matter how hard I try, failure creeps into my life? Why is it that every time I fail, I am not the one who feels the effects, but another? How is it fair that my own faults and inadequacies injure those I should be helping?

Anguish
In darkness I sit, staring at the wall, mind racing. Tears running silently down my cheeks, accepting the pain, knowing I deserve it all. Wave after wave, the anguish runs through me, threatening to tear me apart. Who am I? Why is it that everyone else sees the line, the line you can’t cross, the line that keeps you safe? Why is it that I leap over it without a thought, without hesitation? How do I go on? Where do I even begin to make this right?

Disgust
Life brings us challenges to make us better, stronger. I can only hope that I am strong enough to face my error. The disgust I feel at myself and my actions is overwhelming. Is any way I’ll ever be able to forgive myself?