Rhabbi, I sure hope it felt good to rip my bits to pieces. Heh.

I do agree that there are sentence fragments and that some of the language needs to be revised. The "..." is largely (not always) used in areas where I am having difficulties with dialogue. I tend to leave these things for later, so as not to disturb my flow. I highly recommend it when you are having troubles getting an idea to sit right on the page. I also go back and correct my punctuation several times. I am afraid it is my weak spot. Consequently, I tend to need several reviews in that area.

As for the descriptions of how things are done to these women - fret not. Those things are already taken care of. For referrence, see my "Object" series and the first story in "The O'Connell Chronicles: One Man's Art". This will be a very close tie-in with those, and it will be obviously so before this is posted as a story.

What I found interesting about both of the reviews I have had so far is that my main fear was not realized. I won't disclose that fear just yet, I want to see if anyone else manages to find any problems with what I was worried about.

At any rate, I think you for taking the time to nit-pick this chapter. To be frank, I was expecting far more to be wrong than what has turned up thus far. Then again, there have only been two nitpickers to grace me with their talons. Where is the rest of our cadre of nitpickers?