Thank you all for your thoughts and encouragement.

Dngnkeeper, to answer some of your questions:
My partner has always had a low sex drive by nature. She wants to want sex more often and to try adventurous things, but in the moment, if she is not aroused, she gets stressed and occassionally panics. Any tips on how to solve this low-desire problem are DESPERATELY needed.

Regarding B&D without sex, this is very interesting. I want to hear more. B&D are so sexually arousing for me that they're hard for me to imagine separately. However, an ideal situation might be one in which I get bound and even disciplined, and she doesn't have to have sex so often. The catch here is that I fear if she is not sexually aroused, B&D play will just creep her out. And as I said before, she went really negative on the idea of roleplay. (And of course it's hard to roleplay the Dom since you're running the show.)

So my plan at this point is to slowly try to get her used to the idea of me being bound (which now I think she finds a little scary); then perhaps work our way up to teasing the captive; and eventually hopefully to roleplay.

tha, you are right, I must be patient and go slow (it's really hard for me to go slow). We are talking a lot now which is great. Although our communication in general is awesome, it has been terrible when it comes to sex because we've had problems for so long. So we shall keep the conversation going.

What I could really use is a book or video that portrays bdsm as something that is natural and even healthy (although a bit strange). This might help her get over any hang-ups she has, as well as provide us with particular things to discuss.

Thanks again! (It's amazing to have someone to talk to about this.)