I'm not into the whole spanking, needles, nipple clamps stuff (although I wouldn't say no if she were to like it). I rather would like to mind fuck; get her to essentially thinking of sex, submissively, and push her to a place where the only thoughts in her mind is pleasure, and if I can put her in a state of nirvana, it would be an increadible turn on for me.
From my experience, albeit limited, sexual experience is heightened by the time spent leading up to the big O. I'd try to make her feel like she is my world just to start of with. When my ex and I were going out, on occasions, foreplay would be her stripping of completely, while I'd rub oil all over her body, and on occasions, finger her, or just play with her clit for a short moment, progressively getting more and more enthusiastic. And when I sensed that she started breathing more heavy, while her muscles where being relaxed, it sort of put her body through a mixed state between complete relaxation and that relief it completely needed to be pushed over the edge.
We were vanilla, so if it got to hot for her, we'd go at it like a couple of lions, but since this is my fetish, I wouldn't stop for a while, and if so, I'd tie her down to prevent her from moving, also I'd blindfold her, and stuff ear plugs in her ear, so that the sense of touch, smell and taste are remaining, therefore, more alive. I'd imagine I'd continue this till she starts begging for an orgasm, pause, and then tease her more. Once I'm satisfied, I'd want to lick around her pussy as lightly as I can without sending her over the edge, kiss my way up, getting everything in between, her belly, below her breasts, nipples, neck, and lips, and because I'm a mean bastard on occasion, I'd stop, perhaps tie her up spreadeagled or something, before I start ramming into her.
Serves two purposes, I force myself to wait, submitting essentially to myself, while I try and convert her from normal girl to lust crazed lunatic, and fulfilling this I guess pretty weird fetish (Works for me).
Don't know how effective this is gonna be, (single at the moment), but once I try it out, I'll let you all know.