That's a good question - we're 80% vanilla (yes, with chocolate chips sometimes, that's a great analogy) and 20% BDSM. We only have time to really play on the weekends, so during the week are the vanilla times. I don't think we'll ever give up vanilla sex, it's just too fun, sometimes comforting, sometimes very gentle and loving. We both seem to need that to balance our more "extreme" activities.