A bit of an update and a question!!

[nk_lion]

First of all, my deepest condolences. I wish I had something uplifting and inspirational to say, but I don't; if you want to ever vent or something, I'll be here.

About you're eye contact thing, perhaps more details on your side. What makes you not want to look at yourself in the mirror or at your master's eyes? Is it because you feel intimidated, or do you feel as if you aren't special enough to look at someone eye to eye, or something else entirely?
I know you asked us this question, and I just threw it back at you, I'm just curious in what your mind's first reaction to this situation is.

[sipgirl]

Well let me just say this. I am an attractive woman, apparently I must be because everyone tells me so. My problem is that I HATE my body!!I am never skinny ehough, never tan enough, boobs arent big enough/perky enough etc....so maybe that has something to do with it!? I am also extremely dominant in our every day life I am the "go to girl" for everyone...family, friends, community organizations ( we have a Memorial Fund in honor of our son so I spend a great deal of time doing community outreach stuff).
I am outgoing and confident as long as I am not stark naked on my knees...LOL!!!Put me in a pair of perfectly fitting jeans and I'll walk in like I own the place...make me get naked...thats another story. I dunno I dont think it is just a body image issue though because even when I am clothed or partially clothed I dont want to look at him when we are in that role.
Anyway Im hoping for some more insight...the stuff Ive gotten so far is great! Thanks guys!!