hmm first of all damn what an ordeal for you..i'm so horribly sorry that happened to you...and then the court proceedings...yes you will never get over the loss and hearbreak...but it will get a bit easier to bear as time goes on..
ok i don't like to look in the mirror anytime..it might be low self esteem or else a feeling of uncomfortableness looking at yourself during a scening...i've never tried that so i can't really help you out except to say hmm i think looking at him woulld be easier.. sorry i couldn't be any more help..i just saw this thread and had to respond to your agonizing ordeals..feel free to pm me anytime..