Abused

[bug]

well put, indeed *nodnod* this all makes very good sense to me and i should do well to ponder it before responding *smiles*

she still encourages more opinions, these have given me plenty to think about *giggles*

bug

[learningtopleez]

Bug and Darkgirl...I am sorry you have had these past experiences of rape. It seems though that the dis-association that Donatien speaks of is true. I too can be added to the now growing list of those that have been raped. It happened to me during my sophomore year of high school. A girlfriend and I had been invited to a party by one of the cutest guys in our class. I had just recently gotten my license so we were very excited to be going somewhere without the aid of a parent. Of course there was alcohol at the party and I had never drank before, so after just three beers, I was rather tipsy but able to converse and walk on my own. We eventually ended up in the back of the house with a group that was smoking pot. I didn't do that! So I just sat and talked with a guy I had a crush on. Some people were lying around, some were sitting and others were in another part of the house dancing. I leaned over a guy who was a senoir (who on several attempts at school had tried to get me to go on a date with him; I always declined because he had a girlfriend) to tell my girlfriend something and the next thing I knew he was kissing me. I stopped the kiss and turned to find the guy I had been talking to. He was gone. I turned back to speak to my girlfriend again and the other guy was right in my face. I remember him kissing me again. The next thing I can remember is lying on the floor naked with him on top of me. I was crying and begging him to stop. I'm not sure if anything actually happened or not as my memories are so blocked. I do remember him getting angry and telling me to put my clothes on. I did, and my friend and I left. (She was not present during the rape or so she told me later; she had gone riding with some guy) That was on a Friday night and on Monday morning at school I was a whore. I had had sex once before that fateful night. But suddenly I was a whore. There were even posters up about what happened to me. I never told my parents. I suffered through it alone for the most part. The only regret I have is not pressing charges. At the time, I felt I was at fault as well because I had been drinking. I have learned since then that it was not my fault. I have grown beyond it and above it. It will always be a dark memory, but it rarely surfaces anymore. Btw, I did see the guy years later at my job. I held my head high and stared him down. He recognized me and quickly hung his head and passed without a word.
As far as having rape fantasies...I have them too. Go figure! But I do agree that having the control to stop it makes a huge difference. I would have to trust someone completely to allow such a fantasy to take place in r/l. Also Donatien...I do have an additive personality. Anything I do has to be to the extreme...so maybe that is why the memory never surfaces very often anymore. I look forward to your opinions Sir!