i'm fascinated by what you have said, Donatien. Most notably the following bits:
i think this limited thought and action often causes us to mess up relationships and opportunities and only then do we notice our own behaviour. i don't necessarily think this is always "submissive or appeasing" though, speaking personally my own insecurities and...past issues often manifested in anger, it was a pure defense mechanism, but it prevented anyone from getting really close to me..and, in the mean time, pushed people away because they were hurt by it.
i don't much wanna go into it any more than that, but i just wanted to say i liked what you had written very much.
sl