Quote Originally Posted by tessa View Post
Ok, I stole everyone's wonderful ideas and suggestions and I hope I incorporated them properly. If not, I have this feeling that someone will assist me in making it proper...well, proper as it applies to erotica. Thanks for all the help, y'all!
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OK I promised to pick out a nit, then ran off to the islands and left you high and dry? are you ever really dry tessa? Don't answer that your blush speaks volumes.

Quote Originally Posted by tessa View Post
She laughed. It was one of those hysterical-like sounds, but with an edge of darkness to it that fueled me.
OK hysterical-like sounds a little like HS prom night like ya know?
Hows about something like....

She laughed. It was a nearly hysterical sound, with an edge of darkness that....

Quote Originally Posted by tessa View Post
That wicked laugh bubbled up from her as I pinned her down once more.
OK you've got her laughing again but a very different sound and meaning. She's happy, confident,teasing; transitioning from fear to control, and willing to barter with her power and control. Use the laughter as a metaphor for that change a window into her feelings. Come right out and say it.
Her laughter changed, or the next outburst was different

Quote Originally Posted by tessa View Post
“You dared come to me wearing panties?” I kept my voice low and very deep.

She laughed again, mocking slightly. “These are my favorite panties. I like them so I wore them.” Her defiance covered each word she spoke.
and again, you're using it but be aware and make your reader aware with a bit of subtlety but an unmistakable grip on the subject.

Quote Originally Posted by tessa View Post
She stopped laughing. Her gasp of surprise sounded as sweet as her wild giggle.

“I suggest you stay very, very still.” Her body shook beneath mine as I spoke.
OK. Here is where the Dom really takes charge and the fair damsel is put (or allows herself to be put) in her place.

Quote Originally Posted by tessa View Post
Now, with nothing in my way, I had the home field advantage. Carefully watching for any sudden movements, I slid off her. She stayed where she was, looking up at me expectantly.

“Head down, ass up. We need to discuss this matter further.”

Again, that laugh…
and once again the sub takes charge. (with a gentle little laugh.)
Overall it's a great interplay. You just seem to have that cute little sub doing a bit of topping with her giggle. Don't get me wrong, I love it, just let the Dom feel he's in charge is all OK
Mad
hey I am in charge, right tessa?
Lews