my journey

[tessa]

~winks at violet before she sneaks out~ Always a fun day at the Forums with Louise around.

[nk_lion]

Violet, get back here, or these subs will suffer even more.

[Dorkalicious]

*Hopes she didn't miss out on her chance for fun!* Oooh, I like show and tell

[nk_lion]

What is a man supposed to do with a bunch of tied up subs?

[gagged_Louise]

Ask Tessa...

[tessa]

Well, you never know when one of those IM's is gonna hit. No, not instant message or insane madness. I'm talking about insight. The kind that just all of the sudden is there, without being called on or invited in. It just is.

Sorry to be the buzz kill. Fun's good, don't get me wrong. But within the playtime, you have these realizations- moments that just seem so clear and bright. Interesting how that happens. I've learned to pay attention to them.

Along this journey, I've met so many wonderful people here in this community, many of them right here in this little thread of mine. People who have advised me, counseled me or have just been there when I needed a shoulder to boo-hoo on. I learn from each and every one of you lovely souls. And sometimes I am fortunate enough in that they share some of their journey with me.

What I am finding out is that most all of us struggle as we go on the journey we take. Up's and downs, in health and sick as a dog, happy and pissed off, content or frustrated beyond belief- all of it is part of this trip we take. There can't be one without the other. Why, I ask in my fairytale frame of mind? Because (drum roll please) it's not!! Well, how about that. How long did it take me to figure that out that life ain't a freakin' fairytale? Umm, let's see...going on 20+ years now. Hmm, not so bad on the learning curve there, tessa.

In speaking with my friends here (and I do hope I'm not overstepping in saying that), I find that we all go through times where we wonder if it's going to work out and be okay, if we'll get to experience what we desire, ever or again. It's as if I believed that vanilla life and D/s life were complete and separate entities. Ok, not "as if". I did believe that the two were in and of themselves. I know a few of you reading this are thinking, "well, duh!" (Just consider the source. )

Ill children, arguments, trips to the grocery store, vacations, dinner, financial trouble, finding time to read a good book, hell, finding time to do anything really, are all a part of whatever we do in life. All that stuff is just how it is, what has to be done. The part that has to be incorporated is the getting tied up or flogging the sass out of someone or even just a simple fuck that includes a "who's your Daddy?" Yeah, yeah, I hear the "well duh!" again. Again I say, consider the source. Just don't say it so loudly. I'm the sensitive type.

That was funny. But I digress.

What matters is the trying. If I stop trying just because it's a little too frustrating or a little too complicated; if I get pissy 'cause life is just too busy for a two-week marathon of D/s action and I shut down, well, I get what I put into it. And that would be nothing. Nada. Zilcho. A big ol' zero. I can't blame anyone for that except myself. There is no withdrawal without a deposit. (double entendre alert right there ). A relationship can't survive on a negative balance. And actually, finding the balance is what it's really all about.

~takes off my glamorously pretty Subbie-rella gown and dons my soccer-mom clothes...puts the glass...erm, slipper, yeah, slippers away and finds the flip-flops~

Life is about real joys, real heartaches, real everything. And you know, the fantasy fits right in there if you make a place for it.

I am all about finding my place.

~hugs to all~
tessa

[tessa]

What is a man supposed to do with a bunch of tied up subs?

Why is it that I have the image of Johnny Carson in my head?

Ask Tessa...

Oh, please don't. I'll get it wrong or something worse. Especially if it's multiple choice.

[Rhabbi]

tessa,

I really need to spend more time here with you as you are cleary almost as insightful as Mishka.

[Dorkalicious]

I like that IM Tessa

[gagged_Louise]

Very warm and wise post, this is the lady I adore so much and whom I count as a close friend.
"There is really no staying in one spot treading water with your feet in life, either you're moving forward and growing or you're trudging backwards" - that's how one who had worked his way out of depression put it, I think it holds good for most of us even if it's a hard insight.

[John56{vg}]

Tessa,

More incredible words to live by, full of love, understanding and insight and courage.

You are the soul of our community here and you are cared for by those that you call friend.

~hugs~

John

[nk_lion]

Beautifully said tessa

Though I respectfully disagree with something you said

There can't be one without the other. Why, I ask in my fairytale frame of mind? Because (drum roll please) it's not!! Well, how about that. How long did it take me to figure that out that life ain't a freakin' fairytale? Umm, let's see...going on 20+ years now. Hmm, not so bad on the learning curve there, tessa.

If you are thinking about the fairy tales of Enid Blighten or similar, then yeah, life isn't a fairy tale. But since when did we ever have unicorns, talking trees and fairies?

Maybe I look at it in a different way, or maybe I've just twisted a definition enough to match my view, but life is a fairy tale, or an adventure, or whatever you want to call it. To your child, you represent safety, love, care, to your husband, you are his queen, to people in this forum, you are a good friend ready to give advice always. Whether you don your dress gown or your soccer mom clothes, you are the same person. The financial responsibilities, the dog walking, the constant house cleaning and laundry are simply conquests and evil to destroy.

But in the end, the one common theme in any fairy tale is that the protagonist is happy, along with her loved ones, and if you achieve that in your life, then who is to say your life isn't a modern day adaptation of the Odyssey of your husband and you fighting all odds to share your common passion? Or the story of Romeo and Juliet without the angst? Or a real life and modern version of those fairy tales you read as a little girl?

[Flaming_Redhead]

Hrm....ever read the Grimm Brothers' fairy tales? I'm talking about the REAL fairy tales, not the kid-friendly Disney versions. Snow White's wicked step-mother actually tried to kill her a total of 4 times. There's no point to my rambling. I'm sick, damn it!

[caligirl{Rob}]

big warm hugs of appreciation of saying it so succinctly....as i too often tell Sir i come with a lot of baggage, to which He always replies No, you come with a lot of life! *smiles*

hugs!
cali

[John56{vg}]

RED: Yikes, when you read Grimms for real they are horror stories, yes. Also I read something awhile back that the "glass" slipper was a mistranslation and was actually fur slipper. ~hugs~

Caligirl: Wise words, he is a smart man. And you are a lovely lovely person.

[Rhabbi]

Hrm....ever read the Grimm Brothers' fairy tales? I'm talking about the REAL fairy tales, not the kid-friendly Disney versions. Snow White's wicked step-mother actually tried to kill her a total of 4 times. There's no point to my rambling. I'm sick, damn it!

I'm with Red here, fairy tales are scary enough to make you want a simple and regular life. They make some of the BDSM fantasies about snuff look tame.

[Flaming_Redhead]

RED: Yikes, when you read Grimms for real they are horror stories, yes. Also I read something awhile back that the "glass" slipper was a mistranslation and was actually fur slipper. ~hugs~

*ggls* A fur slipper wouldn't allow the prince to see that the first wicked step-sister had cut off her great toe and that the second had cut off a piece of her heel at the bidding of their mother who said they wouldn't have to walk anymore once they were queen. Justice was served, however, when neither of them married the prince, and both of them had their eyes plucked out by doves at the wedding. Now, that's my kinda fairy tale!!! LOL Tessa, I hope you're seriously rethinking the whole "fairy tale" life, unless you're such a masochist that you wish to be permanently maimed....

[tessa]

I was speaking of the pretty, Disney-type fairytales, of course. The ones where it always ends with "happily ever after..."

Yeah, that's for damn sure not the way it is. But it's real, so there is that.

I definitely was NOT speaking of those horrid little tales. ~shudders~ But if you want truly grim (as opposed to Grimm), check out Heinrich Hoffmann. Now that dude had issues. He wrote "cautionary" tales, about Pauline who played with matches and got all burnt up and about the little boy who had his thumbs cut off because he sucked them (yikes! scary to think about things that get sucked being cut off ~cringes~). AND he drew pictures to go with them. Nothing like tucking the little tyke in and reading the story with the pictures of the girl on fire and the boy with the bloody stumps where thumbs used to be.

Hey, Red? Define "permanently maimed" and I might have an answer for you.
Well, don't do it now, but when you're feeling better. ~hugs~

Rhabbi, being compared to Mishka in any way is a beautiful thing. Thank you for that.

Louise, I love that quote. Love you, too.

John, you're a true darling. ~huggles~

NK, your words make me think. I appreciate them so much. ~hugs the hottie~

D-lish, you're a doll. I'm hugging you 'cause your just that sweet!

cali, all the happiness to you and Master Rob.

[Dorkalicious]

Yay! I like hugs, hehe

[jeanne]

Life is about real joys, real heartaches, real everything. And you know, the fantasy fits right in there if you make a place for it.

Then it gets to become part of the real.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, tessa!

[MajesticFae]

I love your "Life is no fairytale" post. It really hits home for me. Or, as the noble Forrest Gump put it... "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." It's all about the reality and what goes on it. However, it's nice to live in fantasy occasionally. *giggles*

~takes off my glamorously pretty Subbie-rella gown and dons my soccer-mom clothes...puts the glass...erm, slipper, yeah, slippers away and finds the flip-flops~

Mmmhmm... Slipper, right. I'm thinking it was a glass dildo.


And yes. Real fairy tales are scary as crap, but that's no big deal... that's why we got Disney to sugarcoat them and fluff them up and make them happyish.

[pixie_dust]

You're exactly right, dear tessa. Life is what we all make of it, and to complain and do nothing, will get us zip.

In our home, we can relate so well on how difficult it is to find time for anything other than the day to day demands of just "doing what needs to be done". He typically works 50 to 60 hours, and after working my 40, I take care of the home, pets, and try to find time to get extra things done. So, yea, it really sucks some times.

My solution, is to try to view it this way... When we do find time for each other in any form, it becomes much more meaningful and special and I appreciate his actions and efforts that much more. (So there are our happy endings.)

Now, sweet thing, get that princess gown off, keep the soccer mom outfit off, and get over here and join d'lish and I for some tasty licks!!

*nuzzles into d'lish for another lick*

[tessa]

"And sometimes, when grandparent's live really close, they lived happily ever after...erm, well, for an hour and a half or so."



Fae!! Glass dildo?? Well, I never!

Silicone, rubber, plastic maybe, but not glass. Yet.

So, pixie, you wise and sexy fairytale of a woman, you said it all just the way it needed to be said. I always get so much from your words. (Your licks do a lot for me too!)

jeanne, the real fairytales are the best, aren't they? And if anyone isn't all the way sure about that, read this one. Talk about Prince Not-So-Charming...

~hugs~
tessa

[nk_lion]

[B][I][COLOR="Cyan"]"
Fae!! Glass dildo?? Well, I never!

Sure...

[tessa]

Sure...

Silicone, rubber, plastic maybe, but not glass. Yet.

So there!

[nk_lion]

So there!

Oh I believe you.

*roll eyes* at something else

[Dorkalicious]

Hmm, glass.... They look scary o.o

[suchaminx]

tessa -~hugs~

Just caught up on reading your thread - you always make me smile

It is so easy to see by reading your words - how far you have come and how much you are helping others by continuing to share - thank you ~great big hugs~

and fairy tale or not, one thing is true - life is most definitely what you make it!

love and hugs

minxy xxx

[MajesticFae]

*giggles* I'm sure you'll get a glass one eventually, I've seen some very pretty ones. Although, I wouldn't try to ever make it out to be a "glass slipper" I'm not so sure it would work on your food. Well, it might make you slip and fall down...were you to step on the damn thing.

[tessa]

and fairy tale or not, one thing is true - life is most definitely what you make it!

Wisdom looks so very pretty on you, minxy.

~hugs~