sofa table dunno. I have broken 2 or well my sub did during the past 5 years and now I am looking for a new one that is lots sturdier
never thought about balloons like you did Miraculix but nice idea.
The old Tac2 joystick handle if you saw it off works real well as a dildo.
Dishbrushes
Rope there is always some "normal" use for rope in the house.