Sub vs. Stock?

[ProjectEuropa]

This is very helpful. Thank you PE. Is this an aspect (preventing any type of inadvertent conditioning) of BDSM that always needs to be kept at the conscious forefront of everyones, whether dom or sub, mind?

Sorry for all the questions and misuse of words... again, I just don't know how to fully convey what I am asking. Hope this helped explain a little further.

~orchid

Though I know we are not discussing crimes here, we are discussing human nature which is very complex. When I was worked in the Probation Service I had access to case histories on all sorts of crimes, many around consent but also on a much broader field. Its a privelege to see behind the headlines of a crime and get some perspective on people's motivations. I suspect we are discussing consent here. Quite often motivations for commiting crimes around consent are not conscious, patterns of behaviour have usually been established well before any crime has been commited. When the behavoural patterns are forming it would be curlish to say one of the party is right or other wrong, though by the time a case gets to court it is usually one party fighting to be proved not guilty and it's not necessarily the man. Often behavoural patterns are not prevented from starting, out of well meaning intentions, such as not wanting to hurt the other person's feeling or finding difficulty in being honest or feeling an inability to put into words one's concerns. By the time the behavoural pattern has formed it is difficult for both parties to stand outside themselves and take an objective view of their relationship. Habits have formed, one of the party might be giving the other the benefit of the doubt to a particular type of behaviour and the other assuming this is consent. Once the party that has been giving the benefit of the doubt decides s/he doesn't want to deal with such behaviour, the other party might not even hear the other party protests because s/he has not changed his/her behaviour. This is why so many people end up in custody bewildered as to how they got there. I'm not just talking about uneducated and unsophisticated people. It's quite surprising how many highly intelligent people do not recognize their behaviour until it is too late. Habits were formed and people become fixated. One thing for sure is that when you look back over a case history you see behaviour was established very early in the run up to an event. Most could have been predicted if a third party had access to the relevant information. It's pointless saying there was no consent after the event, it helps no one.

It's a little like getting into a car with a friend that has been drinking, you've done it many times before and he drives OK, you just try to behave towards him in a way to keep him driving safelty but on one occasion the he has edged up to 100 mph it is too late to say stop, the mere action of him standing on the brakes will cause an accident. Far better not to humour him in the first place and refuse to get into the car or catch a taxi instead. It's irrelevent that you know him well and that he doesn't mean you any harm, the pattern has been established. You can substitute the male driver for a female driver. Therefore being honest, even if hurting someone's feelings is paramount. It stops behavoural patterns forming.