ProjectEuropa-
You are absolutely correct that this is about human nature. And it is about behavioral patterns forming. Very enlightening example you gave. Thank you as it only helps me to understand even more.

Slavelucy-
Thank you so much for your insight.
Quote Originally Posted by slavelucy
I think that line is finer than we'd like to admit, it's all well and good us nattering about the theory of BDSM, but the fact remains that one person DOES largely submit to the wishes of another, and in doing so, becomes increasingly molded in someone elses image.
Exactly.

However, people are, of course, frequently molded even in vanilla relationsips, sometimes rather manipulatively, whereas i think a (good) dominant would only seek to change someone insofar as it served a purpose for the sub as well as themselves..whereas when it happens by 'acciden't, it's much more haphazard (and worrying).
Very true. In any relationship really (friendships, lovers, family, work) behavioral patterns become established. We tend to adapt towards a specific person and behave accordingly. Sometimes, it's even just based on developed patterns with those people. Which is why I also raised this question. Behavioral patterns develop in many relationships, but couldn't it be more harmful in a d/s relationship due to the innate nature of the relationship?

How does one prevent the activities from crossing that line? By trusting that you have a dominant who won't take advantage of a position of power and by being encouraged to understand and reflect on why certain things/changes are asked of you.
But how does even the dominant prevent themselves from inadvertantly crossing that line? Obviously in a healthy relationship as you describe above one does not expect any of this to happen, but could it regardless?

No way should you apologise, it's a great thread! And, if you want to talk about it in any more personal detail (from either your or my perspective), feel free to PM me.

sl
I'm glad you found the question/thread interesting. I'm suspect that it's possibly a scary question since I haven't heard from too many people and it was not intended to be scary or presumptious. IMHO, a D/s relationship is so unbelievably amazing because of the trust, intensity and personal nature. Which is why I was curious if this is more apt to occur, especially since behavior modification can be a part of this type of relationship.
Thank you for the offer. I will probably take you up on that Lucy!


Maybe what you guys are telling me is that, whether subconsciously or consciously, BDSM'ers tend to be more cognitive of preventing this from happening through open lines of communication?

And again... sorry for including so many questions! It's more my stream of consciousness "thinking out loud" to try and understand.



Hmm... I think PE is correct when he stated a thesis could be written on this topic!

Thank you both for your helpful input.

~orchidsoul