Sub vs. Stock?

[slavelucy]

Hiya OS,

Behavioral patterns develop in many relationships, but couldn't it be more harmful in a d/s relationship due to the innate nature of the relationship?

No, i don't think so. The reason i don't think so is because i think to say that ANY change or learning is bad is like saying that teaching is bad, and to take that to the nth degree would be to say that no one should go to school or have any social eduction whatsoever for fear of indoctrination. Further, In a DS relationship, i think the very nature of it makes it LESS likely to be harmful, as the change is neither manipulative or subversive, quite the opposite in fact; a sub goes into a relationship hoping a dominant will help him/her grow and offer them guidance when necessary, but will ALWAYS encourage them to think for themselves...in a vanilla relationship, people often drift into it, believing they will remain themselves and come out of it as different people, not necessarily worst, but i'm of the view that knowledge and understanding of a situation always makes it less likely to have unwanted side effects.

But how does even the dominant prevent themselves from inadvertantly crossing that line? Obviously in a healthy relationship as you describe above one does not expect any of this to happen, but could it regardless?

But how does even the dominant prevent themselves from inadvertantly crossing that line? Fuck, but that's a good question! Hopefully via introspection and self-analysis, but, yes i think it could happen, unfortunately it remains one of the potenial pitfulls of DS.

IMHO, a D/s relationship is so unbelievably amazing because of the trust, intensity and personal nature. Which is why I was curious if this is more apt to occur, especially since behavior modification can be a part of this type of relationship.

i think it basically IS apt to occur, since it's almost part of the 'point' of the relationship, but that's not to presume that it is necessarily a pejorative, in fact i'd say the trust, intensity and personal nature to which you refer possibly go some way to ensuring it isn't negative, but positive and fulfilling. This goes back to the teaching analogy i used earlier, there's nothing to say that ALL change is a bad thing, certainly we don't consider it a bad thing when people grow and learn through education.

Maybe what you guys are telling me is that, whether subconsciously or consciously, BDSM'ers tend to be more cognitive of preventing this from happening through open lines of communication?

Possibly, yes, there is NO room for verbally softening or fudging a worry or concern or hoping a nagging doubt will just go away, in BDSM. The rot sets in from there, IMO.

sl