Craftygirl- Thank you!!

Katmandu - What can I say? Now that you mention the way you look at doctors after my little reply makes me wonder, mmmm :Tasty:

wannabeXopsed - The only way that I can explain 'why' I did this without question and especially as I had not 'been' in any type of bdsm is mentally I was not stable and I knew this. Its like ECT, if your in a mental hospital (especially about 10-20 years ago) and diagnosed with depression they would send you for ECT - Electrical or Shock Treatment. This was bassically another form of shock to my body to force out all the shit I had in me. If that makes sense . Anyway its how I can understand it

Ruby - I still do those kind of thing, not knowing what some things mean.
My sister is just as bad. When we were little our mum & dad took us to the lakes (countryside) and on passing through we stopped at the pub to go to the loo. Mum saw a condom machine and bought one. On our way out of the pub it suddenly became quiet (as it does sometimes) and my sister suddenly came out in her 'as uaual' load voice, 'Mummy! Why did you buy different flavoured condoms?' Mum blushed and we got out double quick.

But thanks to you all. I did actually think twice after putting that up as I thought, 'Mmmmmm have I put a downer on this thread?' But really it was as Ruby puts it a Revilation or turn around of a bad time and an experience to such deepness (which I probably would not let others into) if it were not for 'the doctor'.
It has left me craving for more