Quote Originally Posted by BDSM_Tourguide
A lot of people mistake love for lust, and in those cases love is not experienced anyway, but the commitment is still there.
which is why I posted that the greeks used 2 words EROS for sexual passion, and AGAPE for what in english is probably best understood as CARING. Anyway surely it would be a very peculiar and cold bdsm relationship without a degree of lust, and abusive without any caring

. ST is not a personals or a relationship site. The people there are not there to find lasting friendships, love, or LTRs..
Actually, I included love, but then removed it in favor of commitment. I don't actually believe that people must feel love for one another to maintain a relationship. However, I do believe they must be committed to one another for a relationship to exist.....
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TG I have difficulty with your comittment to the use of this word in this thread; as unless qualifications such as mutual ,and caring, are added in front of it, it could be describing the commitment of a sadist to complete mind control over his sub.
Your list of essentials might stand up if we were considering the work place where one may have to work with colleagues who one doesn't like, but tolerates if they are committed to their work.
But when talking about being committed to each other in a relationship; that is surely a product of the relationship not the prerequisite, and without the mutuality and caring nature of that commitment being made explicit is too ambiguous of meaning.

Since this thread is about values in the(bdsm ) life, and the Dom in SSC bdsm, must accept responsibility for not taking the sub in directions , or further than they wish to go, it may be relevant for me to list the attributes that researchers discovered in all successful psychotherapists, independent of their training and orientation.

Note that the meaning of each noun is amplified and refined by the use of both verbs and adverbs ;_

EMPATHY...........accurately aware of others feelings; staying with these
RESPECT............values other person; a love of truth ; and integrity
CONCRETENESS...definite, real, specific, avoids vagueness
GENUINESS.........authenticity- means as well as goals; no facade ; congruity
CONFRONTATION.drawing attention to ambiguities and unnoticed resources
IMMEDIACY.........awareness of " here and now"; 'actuality ' put into words

These are the characteristics associated with another healthy "win/win" relationship in which there is at least an implied power imbalance